


Lost and Found

by Anasilan



Series: Happily Ever After in the Arms of her Antivan Assassin [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Danger, Distrust, F/M, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Getting Back Together, Headcanon, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lost Love, Love, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, NSFW, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Plus-Size Inquisitor, Points of View, Regret, Self-Indulgent, Suicidal Thoughts, Sweet Zevran Arainai, Zevran - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:09:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21532012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anasilan/pseuds/Anasilan
Summary: 10 years ago, Solona Amell ran from Denerim, broken-hearted and confused. Alistair had promised to love her forever, but with everything that had happened, feelings for Zevran had deepened. So she ran, changing her appearance and avoiding anyone who may have cared for her. But, it was not meant to stay that way. A chance meeting with a friend, and then a few years later, a mostly willing decision to help, led Solona to be at the conclave in Haven. It was a case in the wrong place at the right time. Now Solona has been called on again to save the world as the head of the Inquisition, and the time has come to face her past and hopefully reunite with someone thought long lost.Story will update every Wednesday (I hope) and has a range of POVs - though it will be noted at the beginning of the chapter. Always grateful for the comments, kudos and subscriptions.
Relationships: Amell/Zevran Arainai, Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Hawke/Varric Tethras, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Zevran Arainai/Female Inquisitor, Zevran Arainai/Warden
Series: Happily Ever After in the Arms of her Antivan Assassin [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688830
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	1. Not the person you remember

**Author's Note:**

> Dragon Age (Origins, II and Inquisition) belong solely to Bioware and not myself. As do the characters. However, I am borrowing them and changing them to fit my own headcanon. Any mistakes are my own - I'll edit as I find them.
> 
> Please enjoy! Let me know what you think :)

“Damn it!” Solona watched her lunch disappear into the forest below Skyhold. Groaning, she gave in to temptation and kicked her feet against the fortresses wall in an infantile tantrum whilst cursing her own clumsiness loudly. However, she was not one to remain angry for long, so she took a deep breath and decided to sneak back into the kitchens and try her luck with pilfering another piece of Solas’s chocolate cake. He probably wouldn’t mind sharing it with her, but everyone knew that stolen cake tasted better.

“This time, I’d better not drop it off a wall! That was a bloody crime against cake!” There came an amused cough behind her, and if she hadn’t been sitting, she was momentarily sure she’d have followed her lunch into the tree branches below.  
  
“Lose something, Herald?” Solona stiffened when Solas’s voice washed over here. Their relationship was an interesting one. She wasn’t exactly suspicious of him, but she didn’t trust him either. For his part, he was wary of the shemlen mage, especially since she seemed to get on so well with Cullen and Leliana, both people he was very distrustful of. But he’d watched her since Haven. She was a mage of extraordinary power and control, and the mark on her hand only seemed to make her stronger. She was courageous and strong-willed when out around the stronghold, or when seen flitting around Haven, but he’d seen her in her alone times, the face reflecting a loneliness and an emptiness similar to his. Then he had discovered her proclivity towards thievery.  
  
A week before she had closed the breach, he had finally… errr found all the ingredients needed to make his favourite dessert. Flissa had been on the warpath after half of her chocolate stash had disappeared as if by magic. First, she had blamed Solona, who was well known for her chocolate addiction, but the blonde-haired mage had claimed her innocence. Then Flissa moved on to Dorian, who had stated that he only liked chocolate handcrafted by young, half-naked men, not the harsh, grainy trash passing for the sweet here in the Frostbacks. She hadn’t even bothered to question him. Solona, however, had eyed him from across the Inn, her face thoughtful. Then, like a dog hunting a bone, when he’d left his long sort after dessert to cool beside the Haven ovens for a moment, she’d made off with half of it. Running past him gleefully, chocolate smeared on her face.

“This is the best, Solas! Thanks for sharing!” He’d followed her, chasing after his treat only to stand there in open-mouthed shock as she’d grinned at him from beside Iron Bull’s tent, hurriedly shoving in the confection, and passing bits up to the qunari and his tevene sidekick – both of whom gave him approving thumbs up. Irritated, he’d returned to his dessert only to find Varric and Cassandra eying the confection with hungry eyes. Grudgingly, he’d given them both a small taste, before disappearing into his cabin and firmly closing the door. The next morning, he’d tripped over a small package on his doorstep, and a note that simply stated:  
  
_Thanks, Solas! More? S_

The package contained several bars of fine Orlesian chocolate, some roasted nuts and flour. This had started off their very odd friendship. He’d bake something, knowing that she would want some of it, but would never ask. She would wait until he was busy and steal exactly half of whatever it had been. Asking her once during a sojourn in the Hinterlands why she didn’t just ask for some, she had grinned cheekily and stated that stolen food tasted better. He guessed he couldn’t deny that.

Solona climbed off the wall and turned to face the elf, a look of guilt crossing her finely crafted face. “Err…. Hello, Solas.”  
  
“Hello, Solona.” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I seem to have dropped my lunch off the wall.” She looked at the wall with an artfully crafted look of misery. “Some bear is going to eat my cake now.”  
  
“MY cake. Serves you right.” Solas sniped, hiding a grin. Never in his life had he imagined he’d be teasing a shemlen mage, standing atop the battlements of his own fortress. But here he was, and despite himself, he was fascinated.  
  
Solona smirked. “That’s okay, Solas Dear…. I know where I can get more!” Giving him a gleeful look, she grabbed her staff from where it lay and raced towards the stairs, golden hair flying behind her, yelling out to the Iron Bull and Cassandra as she ran.  
  
“Chocolate cake in the kitchens!! First one there gets it!!” There was an answering roar from the training yard as Iron Bull barely dodged Krem’s charge, and a yell of “It’s mine, Amell!” from near the training dummies. And of course, Solona’s mischievous cackle as she slid in and out of the fade to get there first. Solas shook his head at her antics, smirking because there was no cake left in the kitchen.  
  
“SOLAS!!!!!” Solona’s rage echoed out of the kitchen door, and he leaned over the battlements, the last piece of cake in his hand. He made an extra display of taking a huge bite, before grinning in uncharacteristic delight down at the angrily capering mage.  
  


*********

Hours later, Solona was back pacing the battlements, below her soldiers, civilians, mages and the like were call working or about to end their day and head inside to the large open fires, dinner and whatever it was that passed as entertainment in Skyhold. From her vantage point, she should see Sera putting up pretty curtains in the room she had claimed for her own. Iron Bull had Rocky dangling upside down from his hand as he moved towards the front door of The Herald’s Rest, Vivienne was walking up the front stairs of the hold, chatting with Commander Helene and Leliana was standing on the balcony of the rookery just watching everything. Solona raised her hand in greeting and got a slight smile in response before the Nightingale disappeared inside.  
  
How things had changed. 10 years ago, she and Leliana would have been sitting before a roaring campfire singing bawdy Orlesian tavern songs and flustering Alistair whilst he tried to ignore them or eat all the cheese Bodahn was able to find. Sten would have been meditating and casting irritated looks at them all, Morrigan would have been pretending that she didn’t enjoy their company, Solona’s mabari Barkspawn would have been chewing on something and dearest Wynne would have been reading or writing letters.   
  
Wynne. It had been 5 years since she’d crossed into the fade. Solona had come down from her mountain retreat to care for her at Kinloch, trying to make her final days pain free. She’d just glared at the Templars who had tried to force her to remain locked in the tower, apparently the boon she’d asked for had never been followed through by Alistair. She had spent the two weeks with Wynne, talking about their travels, laughing about the things she and the others had gotten up to. They’d talked about why Solona had disappeared so suddenly. That had helped too.  
  
After the Landsmeet, and the destruction of the archdemon, Alistair had called off their romance, saying that whilst he loved her, always, that their relationship was doomed and he had to choose a non-mage, wife from the nobility. Solona had left without a word the following day. She knew because of Wynne that Alistair and Zevran had search for her for years. But, she wasn’t without skills, and quite frankly, neither of them knew the full extent of her magical talents. All she’d had to do what cast a glamour spell on herself and change her looks, and they or their searchers had passed her in the street, none the wiser. Wynne said that Zevran had gone back to Antiva and that Alistair had married the Cousland girl, having two sons and a daughter.

Solona was happy for him. She also avoided speaking to him in Redcliffe after Alexius had been captured. It had been 10 years since she’d seen him. He’d aged, of course, growing more to look like the portraits of his father. She knew he’d wanted to speak to her once he realised who she was, but instead she had negotiated with Fiona and swept from the room, ignoring him calling her name. Pushing him out of her head again, she walked toward the high guard tower. The sun was falling behind the hills now, and the shadows were growing longer, the night would be here soon and that was something she never enjoyed. Though, that had changed since she had gained the mark on her hand. Instead of the quiet song of the darkspawn, she just dreamed of her past, and the people she missed. That was better, for the most part.  
  
Looking around, she watched to make sure someone wasn’t keeping an eye on her or where she had gone. You were never sure with Leliana around, or her personal tail Scout Jim. Grasping the prominent corner of the guard tower she started to climb toward the roof. Leliana had been so angry and oddly desperate when she’d finally located her. And that had been completely by accident. Solona had gone to Kirkwall, mostly out of curiosity, but also to keep the warden-commander upraised of her location. She might not be an active warden, but they did like to keep a watch over her. The rest of Fereldan might have forgotten what she looked like, but she was still a hero to the wardens, even if they knew she wasn’t telling the whole truth about how she had survived the battle with the archdemon. She had also been feeling lost, well more lost than usual. Wynne had slipped across the veil in her sleep, and Barkspawn had followed soon after. So, because she always thought her ideas through (cough), she’d jumped onto the first boat out of Highever and landed on docks of Kirkwall.

For a few weeks, she had wandered the streets of Low Town like a shadow. Cloaked in fade magics, she had watched the people around her, investigated her family only to discover that where once the Amell family had been prominent, now there were only four, and technically three of those were Hawkes. For a few days, she had watched Marian Hawke and her sister Bethany, curious about the only blood relatives she had left. But ultimately, she had decided that there was no point in contacting them. After all, they had never tried to contact her either. Logic said that they probably didn’t know about her, but it made her angry that her family had accepted Bethany as a mage, yet she had been sent away to Kinloch Tower are the age of 6 and promptly forgotten about by those who bore her.

The last night before she left, she had walked into The Hanged Man, hoping to say hello to Isabela at least before leaving. She had seen her storming around in Hawke’s wake, her daggers shining, and wanted to grab a drink and reminisce a bit before heading back to the Frostbacks and her lonely cabin. Talking with her and Zevran in The Pearl in Denerim had been eye-opening. Solona grinned in remembrance. Isabela and Zev had invited her back to the Siren’s captain cabin… she’d passed, but had always wondered what she had missed afterwards, especially when her feelings for Zevran had slowly started to change. Walking through the door, she had quite literally walked straight into Leliana, who had fallen into an ungraceful heap on the filthy floor in front of her. Before even realising who she had walked into, she found herself frog-marched into a private room, and shoved into a chair, and a furious Leliana yelling at her, wildly gesticulating and pacing back and forth.

When she paused for a moment, Solona broke in, giving her friend a sheepish smile.

“Hello Leli.”

“Hello Leli? HELLO LELI!? That’s all you say to me after five years?” Leliana’s Orlesian accent getting thicker with her growing incredulity. “I searched for you, from Southern Fereldan, through Orlais, the Anderfels and even Tevinter. We thought you were dead!” Leliana turned her back on Solona and seemed to collapse into herself. “You just… left.”

“I did.” Solona saw no point in lying. “My job was done and I wasn’t needed anymore.” Standing she moved to lean against the wall, carefully watching her old friend.

“Not needed? I needed you, we all needed you. You were the heart of us all!”

Laughing dryly, Solona shook her head. “Alistair didn’t need me. He promised to love me forever, yet he tossed me over for a Cousland before the night was out.” She snorted. So much for everlasting love, she thought cynically.

“He searched for you for three years… I searched for you… Zev… Zev is still looking.” Leliana’s quiet voice broke through her thoughts.

“Zevran is still looking for me? I sincerely doubt that. He's probably having the time of his life in a lot of people's beds and killing Crows.” To think otherwise, would be shocking, though saying those words out loud hurt, she wanted to believe otherwise, but she knew her companion too well - Zevran never said no to companionship. Shaking her head, she moved towards the door. “Look Lel, Fereldan had been saved, my duty was done. All of you had plans or places to go, whilst I had none. I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t watch Alistair find happiness with someone else. Or wait for Eamon to convince people that since the Blight was over, the best place for me would be back in the tower, even though I am a warden. I just couldn’t. I… I saw you in South Reach two years ago. You walked past me many times… but I had to disappear. If I’d stayed… I would have ended up insane or back in a tower.” She opened the door.  
  
“I’m not the person you remember, Leli. That girl disappeared when the archdemon died. I’m sorry. Please… please stop looking. Tell Alistair I’m dead and tell Zev… tell him I miss him.” She did. More than she had ever realised before. It was something to think about later though. Stepping from the room, she walked towards the entrance and out into the night, her hands moving to start the complex spell to glamour her appearance.

“Wait! Sol please!” Leliana’s desperate voice called out from behind her. “Please don’t disappear again. Tell me where you are going!”

“Home. I’m going home. Home to remember Barkspawn and Wynne. Home to hide. Home to learn and read and pretend that I really am dead.” Muttering under her breath, she completed her transformation from blonde-haired and blue-eyed to a more of a Rivaini style with black short cut hair and brown eyes, much to the shock of her former close friend. Feeling sad suddenly, she reached out her hand and softly touched Leliana’s cheek.  
  
“I’m not the person you remember Leli… but… I will write to you soon. To the Chantry in Val Royeaux.” Turning, she made herself meld back into the shadows and seemingly disappear into the night. She watched as Leliana raced down the direction she assumed Solona had gone, calling for her. It sounded like “Please Solona. He misses you. He’s broken without you.” But then the words were lost in the loud rush of Low Town’s night-time rush, after all, why would Alistair miss someone he’d abandoned so easily.

Solona sighed and leaned against the tower gate wall. Now, years later, she understood that running away was hardly a good choice – either time. And she was ashamed of her behaviour when she’d contemplated running from Leliana a few months previously wanting to avoid getting caught up in whatever insanity Leliana had been trying to organise. Now, she was here, leaning against the Skyhold Gate Houses roof, totally involved in Leliana’s insanity. And trying to pretend she was happy about it.


	2. Fixing what was broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solona tries to fix previous relationships and thinks about new ones, getting used to her new title of Inquisitor. She thinks and remembers more of Zevran and begins to regret more the way that she left him.

The weeks passed in an odd mix of fast and slow. Whilst she was hardly a willing participant in the Inquisition, as time passed and she got used to her surroundings and the lack of silence, and she got used to being around the others.

Cullen had been interesting. She remembered him from Kinloch, strict but fair. He’d also indulged her chocolate habits, sharing the leftovers from his dinner when she gave him pitiful looks or a few times when he’d received treats from his family. The last time she’d seen him, he’d been starved and dehydrated, a shell of a man demanding that all mages in Kinloch be killed through the rite of annulment after blood mages had taken over during the fifth blight. Their first meetings had been… awkward until she had finally confronted him late one night near the Chantry in Haven.

“Commander. A word please.” Cullen had stopped, his back ramrod straight and his hand reflexively coming up to grip the back of his neck. Turning, he’d smiled at her, though it hadn’t reached his eyes.

“Herald… can I help you?”

“Commander… Cullen… do we have a problem? With each other, I mean?” She stood straighter, though twisted the end of one golden lock of hair around her fingers nervously. Looking up at him, she gave him a hopeful, but small smile.

“Uh, no Herald… not as far as I know.” He stuttered. his cheeks flaming red.

“Not Herald… Solona. You never used to have problems saying it. Repeat it with me… Sol-Oh-Nah.” She teased.

“Well… that would hardly be appropriate… You are the Herald of Andraste!” His eyes crinkled a bit like he was trying not to smile.

“Bah… I am hardly that, and we both know it. I was in the wrong place at the right time, as usual.” Grinning, she looked up at him teasingly. “I know you are an intelligent man Cullen… and I will call you Cullen… after all, you’ve seen me naked. Oh, and stuck your finger in my eye more times than I have. We’ll only be awkward around each other if you choose to make it so. I’d rather just have my friend back.” She smiled winsomely up at him, fluttering her eyelashes.

A deeper blush had covered his face at her frank reminder of their life in the circle. “Well… I… alright. Just as long as we don’t mention the naked thing again.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Ever.”

Solona cackled, and tossed her long hair over her shoulder, preparing to leave. “Fine… but it’ll cost you.” She turned around and headed towards her cabin. She got about ten paces away before he reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

“What’s the price of your silence, you mage wench?” Amusement on his face, obviously still recalling their time together in Kinloch.

“Oh… the usual. But you can keep the dark chocolate… it makes me gag.” Giving him a cheeky grin, she literally pranced inside her cabin, shutting the door in his amused face. Through the roughhewn wood she heard him mutter “Maker’s Breath!” as he walked away, and she couldn’t stop her giggles.

The arrangement had worked out well too. Every few days, a small plate of chocolates would appear on her desk or he’d press them into her hand in passing. They spent many hours in each other’s company, playing chess, talking about the past decade, his time in Kirkwall, and his guilt over the way he’d treated her when the blood mages had taken over Kinloch. However, since it was not in her nature to hold grudges, she explained that neither herself nor Wynne ever held it against him. In fact, to his utter surprise, she admitted that she had checked up on him over the years, always hidden and from a distance, but none the less she had.

Other relationships were not so easy to fix, however. Leliana was still furious with her and Solona freely admitted that she was avoiding the fiery-tempered redhead. Though, she wasn’t so fiery-tempered now. She seemed cool, calm and collected, except when she was alone with Solona, then her eyes would fill with rage and shortly after she would quietly leave the room.

Solona had left her to her own devices whilst they were in Haven, only stepping in once when Leliana had ordered the death of one of her operatives. That conversation had not ended well, but now there was a healthy mix of curiosity added to the anger found there. There had been much to occupy Solona however, so even though she intended to have a long talk with Leli, there never seemed to be the time.

Instead, she had gone off to the Storm Coast and hired Iron Bull and the Chargers. They were quite expensive, but so far, they were worth it. Solona had been a bit intimidated by Iron Bull to start off with until one of the scouts had asked her what it had been like to kill the High Dragon above Haven so many years ago. Iron Bull had dropped the axe he’d been sharpening and raced to her side in front of the campfire, demanding the story over and over and excitedly asking questions. For the first time, in a long time, Solona had felt part of the group and finally admitted that it had been one of the biggest rushes of her life. From that moment on, he’d pronounced her “The Boss” and had begun pestering her about the rumours of a dragon in the Hinterlands, telling her it would be fantastic to kill an ataashi with her. Grinning, she kept purposefully dragging it out, making no promises, but on their next trip the Redcliffe, she, Iron Bull, Varric and Cassandra had investigated the local’s claims, and whilst they had all been a bit singed they had won the battle and slain the dragon. Iron Bull wanted to make its skull into a chair, and she had promised that he could after Wade and Herren had used as many parts of the creature as they could.  
  
Her complete avoidance of Leliana came to a grinding halt after she had returned from Redcliffe. Though she had managed to negotiate with the Grand Enchanter for an equal alliance with the mages, she had not been prepared for seeing the King after so long. She was also not coping with what she had witnessed when she and Dorian had been thrust into the future. Though the experience had solidified her loyalty to Dorian for the rest of their lives.

Solona had taken one look at her dearest friend and burst into tears, sliding off her horse and throwing herself into the shocked spymaster’s arms.

“Leli! Leli! I am sorry! I am so, so sorry!!” Burying her face into her friend’s neck, she had sobbed, clutching the shocked woman tightly to her. Cassandra slid to the ground next to them and swung a hard eye around the group of soldiers, servants and passers-by that were gathering around the sobbing Herald. Taking in the scene, and giving Cullen the eye, the pair hurried the pair into Solona’s cabin and quickly closed the door.

“Shhhh… Shhh Sol…. You’ll make yourself ill!” Leliana’s accent deepened with her concern. “What happened?” She knew about the alliance of course, but something had obviously been missing from the report she’d been given.  
  
“I… I saw you die! You died to save me!” Solona pulled away and unceremoniously wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve before hugging Leliana close once more. “You gave Dorian and I time enough to get back through the portal.” 

“Of course, I would sacrifice myself for you, _ma petit_. I would have ten years ago, and I would still today.” The conviction in her voice was strong.

“Even after?” Solona’s voice trailed off and she looked down at her feet, embarrassed.

“Even after.” Leliana stepped forward and reached out to touch her face, bringing Solona’s eyes up to her own. “Why did you run, _ma petit_? After Denerim? After Kirkwall? You almost ran again before the Conclave.” Solona turned away and moved to sit on the bed, then looked at her friend.

“I was scared and hurt after Denerim. I was only 19. Alistair had broken my heart, after telling me he’d loved me forever. I saw him out in the gardens with Elissa Cousland that night… I was so angry! And young and so very stupid. I was scared Eamon and the Landsmeet would send me back to the circle now that my job was done. And I was confused… if I loved Alistair, why was I wondering what it would feel like to be with Zevran and to be his.” She paused, before taking a deep breath, and continued her story.

“After seeing Alistair and Elissa together, I did something stupid in retaliation. I got drunk and then slept with Zev. When I woke up a few hours later, to find him sound asleep next to me, my hair wrapped around his fingers, I panicked. I snuck out of bed, went back to my room and left. I felt like a fool. I didn’t want Zev to wake up and feel obligated to me because of what we’d done and I felt awful because I'd used him for selfish reasons. Then I got even more confused because I wanted to stay with him.” Shame coloured her tone. “I am so sorry, Leli.” Solona looked away.

Taking a deep breath she continued with her explanation. “Then Kirkwall… I was not expecting you to be there. I’d heard you were working for the Divine, and that you were in Southern Orlais investigating some plot against some high-ranking mother there. I needed to get out of Fereldan. Barkspawn had just died, and so had Wynne. I had heard about the Amell family there and I wanted to go and see what kind of people they were, see if they really were the kind of people who forget about their child once she’d been sent off to the circle.” Grabbing a cup of water, she sipped and then lent against Leliana when she sat beside her on the bed.

“All I found was Gamlen Amell, my uncle and three Hawkes – Leandra, Marian and Bethany. There was nothing I could find out about my own family, so I decided to visit Isabela and then leave. Running into you, when fear and shame had kept me away for so long, was not part of my plans.” Solona gave a self-deprecating laugh. “So, I turned tail and ran, feeling like a fool. Wanting to stop but worrying you’d ask me why I ran.”

Leliana shook her head sadly and reached out to gasp Solona’s chin. “And when I asked for your help at the conclave?” Solona laughed softly.

“That was pure pigheadedness. The messenger said, and I quote “The left hand on the divine wants you to come to Haven with a different face, woman”. Quite frankly, I thought he was an assassin, so may I have shot him in the ass with lightning and sent him on his way with a very rude message. Then I decided to come and check out the situation and you know the rest. I end up changing my face to protect the Divine, I get knocked the hell out and wake up with a glowing green hand, my magic is supercharged, the Seeker wants to kill me and I have to save the world. Again.”

Leliana gave a small smirk. “You’ve forgotten to mention that you have the Commander of the Inquisition AND a very powerful apostate mage acting like your dessert suppliers, you seem to have made friends with a Tevinter Mage and are planning on going dragon hunting again with a Ben-hassrath agent. You lead a very interesting life, my little love.” She’s wiped the tears from Solona’s face and brushed the thick golden hair from her eyes.

“I am not as angry at you as I was, _ma petit_. I just wish you had spoken to me instead of running away. But we will work on it. I need to have you with me and so do the others.” She stood, touching Sol’s face once more. “I have more to tell you, but I think we should investigate this Tevinter Mage first and discuss the decision you made in Redcliffe with Cullen and Josephine. I do have a letter for you though. It might make you smile.” Reaching inside her armour she pulled out a sealed letter covered in dirty fingerprints and smudged ink. “Read this, and then join us in the chantry.” She turned to leave.

“Uh… Leli… there was something else. Or should I say, someone else in Redcliffe.” Leliana looked over her shoulder.

“Who, _ma petit_?”

“Alistair. I tried to avoid him, and then I ignored him when he tried to get my attention… that means…” Solona stopped, lost for words. Leliana’s shoulders dropped for a moment and then she squared them and took a deep breath.

“I’ll tell Josie that the King of Fereldan will be arriving shortly.”

******

_Well, smash all my Whiskey and call me a nug-humper, I knew you weren’t dead. You’ve got some explaining to do next time I see you, Girlie. Tell you what, next time you're near Redcliffe, look Felsi and me up. Bout time you met little Soli. Tell that elf I said hello._

_Oghren_

Sol had smiled at the time, glad to hear from her old companion. She’s known from the Free Marches Wardens that Oghren had semi-retired near Lake Calenhad a few years previously, training select warden trainees in the art of Berserking, but they had never mentioned that he and Felsi had had a child, nor that he/she was named after her. She’d placed visiting them on her list of things to do, but with closing the breach, Corypheus’s attack and the loss of Haven had meant that she hadn’t quite made it there as yet. She’d also forgotten to ask Leliana why Oghren would tell her to tell Zevran hello.   
  
Leaning against the wall and watching the sunset over the Frostbacks, Solona decided now was a good time to ask her friend, it would give her something to plan for when she left for Crestwood in the morning. But first, she had to eat her pilfered spoils. Grinning, she pulled a linen wrapped package from her pack. It was still warm, and she could smell the chocolate already. Suddenly, from down in the courtyard there came a loud cry:

“Solona Amell!” Cassandra’s voice rang out. “Give back the dessert, you chocolate thieving miscreant!” Using her mage skills, she projected her voice from over near the gardens, not wanting her hiding spot to be discovered.  
  
“Bite me, Cass!!” Cackling, she slid to the stone floor and started in on her snack, knowing full well she’d be sneaking at least some of it into Cass’s room before the evening was through. Still… it was fun to play every so often. Being the Inquisitor shouldn’t mean that she couldn’t have fun right? And sometimes Cassandra needed a reminder not to be quite so uptight. She could hear the Seeker’s grinding her teeth from here.


	3. Constantly thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With her stolen snack, Solona contemplates her past relationship with Zevran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short one, because I discovered Mass Effect Andromeda this past weekend. But still moving forward! :)

Munching on her treat, Solona contemplated why her thoughts were increasingly turning towards Zevran. Through her discussions with the Iron Bull, she had sent a message to Sten, hoping that he was well and that he’d maybe write to her, though she doubted it. She had stuck to her promise to never contact Morrigan, even though she knew she was playing court enchanter to Empress Celene of all people. But Zevran… Ever since she had seen Alistair she had thought of little else when left to her own devices. His smile, the lewd if not strangely charming suggestions he’d make when they’d sit together around the fire. She’d noticed that he’d kept his gaze on her longer the more they had travelled together. He’d called her _amor_ often, spending his time talking to her about Antiva and eventually deeper things, but never quite crossing the line, knowing that she loved Alistair. She had loved talking to him, spending time with him, but when her feelings towards him had started to change, she had gotten scared and confused. After all, she had been in love with Alistair… right?

Now, she wondered what he was doing, whether he had a family, if he’d ever finished his quest against his House or whether he thought of her. To be honest with herself, whilst she had never asked Leliana, the words she thought she had heard in Kirkwall had spun around her head ever since the night she had run again. She thought about his actions towards her, constantly on guard, attentive and caring. Supportive when she had approached him for ideas or just to talk. She missed that. She’d never had that with Alistair. Oh, they’d spent their time together, but they’d been scared, nervous children in actuality. If anything highlighted that more, her running away was a prime example.

Thinking about it deeper, she realised that the flowers she’d found on her pillows during the blight were probably his doing rather than Alistair’s… simply because Alistair would not have thought about such a small thing in the middle of fighting the blight. She felt a small pang near her heart. She’d worn those bright flowers in her hair, smiling and touching them and now, now she remembered the delighted smile on Zev’s face. Groaning, Sol lowered her head into her hands. She had been such a callow child. And thoughtlessly painful to one of her dearest friends.

After watching Alistair and Elissa kissing in the Denerim Castle gardens, she had rushed off to the great hall, deciding to try and drink Oghren under the table. Instead, she’d been lured into a game of wicked grace with Zevran, Ohgren and some other dwarves. Through drink, after drink she had moved closer and closer to Zev until finally she had just reached out and kissed him full on the lips. He had moved back in surprise, looking at her in shock, and with a question in her eyes. She had smiled at him, stood and picked up his hand, pulling him with her. Every time he’d tried to talk, she had just kissed him, pressing against him, until he had given up on speaking and taken control of their passion. He had taken her back to his room and made love to her, sweetly and with great care, taking delight in the sounds of her moans, the feel of her body, so long denied him. It had been wonderful… it had terrified her. She had realised she felt more for Zevran that she felt was appropriate, and if she was a hundred per cent honest with herself, this was why she had run, more than feeling broken-hearted over Alistair.

Solona sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve again. She hadn’t allowed herself to think of Zev often in the past ten years. He would have been so hurt to have woken up alone and she’d just disappeared. Suddenly, and with complete clarity, she missed him. She missed everything. His smile, his voice, the gentle touches to her face and neck, laughing with him, sharing with him. He’d meant more than she’d ever realised, and now she was here and he was somewhere else, probably not alone. She needed to say sorry, and although she was not worthy of it, ask him to forgive her. Getting to her feet decisively, she climbed down the gate wall and ran towards the rotunda door. She had to ask Leliana about it, and she knew it had to be now.


	4. Sometimes it’s better just to rip the bandage off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana decides to take action, wanting to help two people she loves, realising that maybe Solona is ready to face her past and maybe gain a little happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a bit angsty... but the happy is coming soon... I promise!

Leliana stood in the darkened door of her tower room. Behind her there came the rustling of her ravens in their cages and the faint sounds of people moving around in the library. She wanted to stay angry at Sol, but after the tearful confession in Haven, and what she had managed to so with the Inquisition since she’d joined, there just seemed to be no point. Sol had changed in the last decade, but so had she. Still, she saw a little of the old Solona when she’d convinced her to detain the operative, rather than have him killed. Telling her again that ideals were important. Smirking, she listened to Cass storming off, denied the dessert she’d been craving, and Solona’s cackles of pure delight, both at stealing the treat and denying it to her friend. Young Solona would never have done something like that. Leliana felt that this quirk was good for morale – Solona had become somewhat infamous for her dessert thievery, and it showed that she was settling in far easier than Leliana had originally given her credit for, and the soldiers, workers and refugees at the hold seemed to find this trait was endearing and humanising for someone with such an astounding reputation.

It was interesting to note who Sol had befriended in the Inquisition. Cullen was an old acquaintance, and they were working on building up their trust and camaraderie again. She had taken both Cole and Dorian under her wing, patiently explaining life and it’s many confusions to the former in gentle, caring tones and researching or stealing the latter way for spur of the moment shopping trips in Val Royeaux, or insisting on his company whenever she had a mission to do. Her bonding with Varric, and Bull and his chargers had hardly been a surprise, nor was her barely contained dislike for Vivienne, given her views on the circle of Magi. Leliana hadn’t been sure how Sera would fit into the group, but given Solona’s delight in pranks and pilferage, she knew it wouldn’t be too long before those two would join forces and wreak havoc through the stronghold.

Her friendship with Solas was interesting. At the beginning both she and the apostate had circled each other warily. Whilst there was still some hesitance, and Leliana had seen her watching him contemplatively on many occasions, there seemed to be a small friendship forming, despite her proclivity to steal the snacks he had stolen from others, much to his bemused irritation. What was even more interesting was her complete avoidance of Blackwall. He watched her move around the stronghold in fascination, but she rarely approached him, let alone spoke to him. Varric said she had taken one look at him on the retrieval mission and had walked away muttering, leaving Cassandra to recruit him to the cause. The one time she’d heard her mention him, Solona had referred to him as an animated hedge, which she assumed was something to do with is general hairiness.

“Oh well… there are other things to be concerned about now.” Rubbing her hands together, she turned to the letters and reports on her desk. There were two off to the side that she had been ignoring. Knowing Solona wouldn’t be pleased to see either one. Breaking the seal on the back of the first, she leaned back against her chair.

_Dearest Leliana,_

_Imagine my surprise at coming face to face with Solona after so many years. And my even greater surprise when she did not acknowledge me and indeed fled the castle. Then I realised that you, my dearest friend and confidant had known where she was and what she was doing all this time._

_Why didn’t you tell me where she was? Fereldan needed her. I needed her._

_I am making plans to travel to Skyhold. Eamon thinks that this is a foolish move, but I need an explanation from both of you, sooner rather than later. Expect me before the end of the month._

_Alistair_

Sighing, Leliana called out to a nearby scout to let Josephine know that she had failed in her attempts to keep the King of Fereldan from darkening their doorstep, and to make the appropriate steps to accommodate him and his retinue. She then turned to the last missive, which was more a stack of letters, tied together with a black ribbon. Attached to the ribbon was a small card addressed to her, and she was grateful there was no one around her to see her trembling fingers as she opened it.

_Leliana,_

_I have searched for 10 years, mi tesoro, and I find I no longer have the willpower to do so. It must be as you believed, and mi amor must be gone._

_I wrote these to her every year on the anniversary of her disappearance. When you hold the services this year, please add them to the pyre. With House Arainai all but destroyed, I no longer wish to walk this world without her._

_Z_

She sat up straighter in her chair, this letter had arrived the previous morning, arriving by raven before dawn, sent from Highever. Leliana knew that Zevran had made friends with Teyrn Cousland when they were in Denerim, and apparently, he had returned there from his travels. Knowing that this was urgent, Leliana immediate scrawled a note on a scrap of paper and ran to her fastest raven. Attaching the note to his leg, she removed him quickly from his perch, and raced towards the balcony, throwing him into the sky. The note simply said:

_She is here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this was so short.... I am uploading a second one. 
> 
> Also, my tumblr is here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/caladrinsilverleaf Though, I am old and a bit tumblr clueless. It's mostly full of Dragon Age stuff, Blackwall appreciation and some Zevran - because who can't resist an Antivan Elf?
> 
> Storywise: The happy is coming soon, I promise. A few more angsty chapters and one fraudulent Warden getting his ass chewed (Not literally).


	5. Letters from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solona, Ironbull, Dorian and Cole travel to Crestwood to look into the walking dead rumours. Having recieved letters from Zevran via Leliana, Sol is trying to work up the courage to read them.

Solona leaned against a tree and watched the Iron Bull, Dorian and Cole set up their tents. Smirking to herself, she listened to the Tevene altus bitch at Bull, who responded by flirting outrageously. Cole, who didn’t really need to sleep, but was trying to emulate human conventions, was watching them, equally as fascinated.

“Skin touching, hands sliding, legs tangling, breath joining…” He began to say, and Dorian’s head snapped up and he glared at the boy with a look of consternation.

“Cole, we’ve had a talk about delving into my head.” Iron Bull looked over at Sol, who was struggling to keep a smirk off her face. He smirked in return and then grinned at Dorian.

“So, Dorian… you do want to ride the Bull!”  
  
“Vishante kaffas! I do not!” Dorian blushed deep red and pushed inside the tent.

“Yes… he does…. He wants to grab your…” Cole spoke up.

“COLE!!” Solona and Iron Bull grinned at each other, and then Solona raised her eyebrow at him and spoke quietly.

“So, Dorian huh? Good stuff. I hope it works out.” Iron Bull blushed and turned to look at Cole, who was opening his mouth to speak again.

“Who knows? Shut it, Kid. Let’s talk about daggers instead. Don’t be weird.” Knowing that the moment was over for a while, she watched Bull set up the cooking equipment and start dinner, resting her head back against the bark of the tree. A movement to her left had her cracking open her eye as Dorian settled next to her, putting his head on her thigh.

“Hello, Lovely.” She murmured, bringing her hand up to run her fingers over his nose and forehead. He made a small humming sound and smiled contentedly.

“My dear Inquisitor, are you going to tell me why you have spent the last day checking on your packs? You were so distracted, that you almost missed that brown bear.” Solona felt her face heat and she paused in her ministrations through his hair for a moment before continuing thoughtfully.

“Leli gave me some letters today… before we left. They are in my pack… but I am too scared to read them.” She admitted slowly, embarrassment colouring her voice. “They are from someone I’ve come to realise that I care for more than I admit, and who I have…. Wronged horribly. Treated worse.” She sighed.

“How do you see me, Dorian?”

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. “Strong, caring, insanely loyal, intelligent, stubborn, impatient, larcenous and very, very human. Though, at first, when I found out who you were… I was terrified.” She jerked a bit in response.

“Terrified?” She sounded horrified. She’d never considered herself to be terrifying before.

“Of course! Look at you! You are this tiny scrap of a woman, with thick blonde hair and the biggest green eyes I have ever seen on a human. Your face is always so serious, and you seem to be attempting to figure out the motives of anyone you meet. Looking for some hidden truth. Then there is the fact that you almost single-handedly killed an archdemon and brought the fifth blight to an end, all the while wielding some of the strongest magics I had ever heard of.” He shrugged and reached up and grabbed her hand, returning her fingers to his hair.

“But, after Redcliffe…” He paused. “I saw you, brave and strong, tenacious and devastated. It made me realise that you were just a person. Like me. Though, not as well-dressed of course.”

“Oh, of course, mighty fashion guru.” She snickered. She sighed deeply.

“When I was younger, I ran when things got tough. I turned my back on most of my companions because I thought that was the best choice. I am not brave. I’m a coward. A coward who is finding it hard to admit what I feel or even try to figure out how to fix it.” She cast a look across the campfire towards the pack sitting in the door of her tent.

“Frustrated, heart sore, she wants to know, but she’s scared. How can she not be scared? She wants to face the pain, but what if it says something she doesn’t want to hear?” Cole asked Iron Bull. Solona stopped breathing.

Iron Bull looked at his young friend. “There isn’t much we can do, unless the Boss decides that she’s brave enough to face her past, Kid. Until then, you just have to be her friend.” He paused, and then looked at Solona’s sad face. “You are brave, Boss. The past hurts, but it’s better to face it than let it hang around. You already know how bad that can be.” He quirked a half-smile at her and resumed stirring their dinner.

Dorian drew her attention down to him again “None of us are going to judge you, Sol. I’ll hold your hand if you like? I won’t even read over your shoulder… much.” He grinned cheekily up at her, as Bull called out that dinner was done.

“Maybe…. After dinner.” She sighed and pushed him unceremoniously off her lap, snorting out a laugh when he landed face down in the leaves.

“Kaffas! Wench!” She smirked at him, and got up, and ambled over to the fireside, smiling at Cole and reaching for the bowl in Bull’s outstretched hand.

“So, Bull… Let me tell you about my experience with the Sylvans in the Brescillian Forest. Krem told me you’d experienced something similar?”

******

Night had settled around the camp. Solona could hear Iron Bull snoring in his tent, and she assumed Dorian was reading in his by the silhouette the lamp in his cast against the canvas. Cole was sitting up in a tree, staring up at the stars, his attention taken by listening to the forest, and area around them, protecting those that needed to sleep, as he did not. The pack by the door seemed to get larger the longer she ignored it until she would have sworn that it blocked the entire tent flap.

Sighing she got up from her bedroll, and pulled the beribboned letter pack out of the bag, and ran her finger over her name, written in a hand still familiar to this day. She held the letters to her nose and breathed in deep and held back a sob. It smelt like him. The faint smell of the expensive Antivan oils he used on his armours, the soap he used when he bathed. Then just the scent of himself. Zevran. Her heart ached anew, and the pang she felt in her chest was painful.

“You love him.” Cole’s clear voice spoke from in front of her, and his hand came into view and touched the tears she hadn’t realised she had started to shed. “You know you do now. That’s why this is hard.”

“I… yes… maybe. I don’t know. How can I love someone I haven’t seen for ten years?” Her voice was broken, and she stroked the letters lightly with the tip of her fingers.

“Because you do. I see how you see him. You understand him, and your soul longs for him. You tried very hard to ignore it, but you can’t anymore.” Solona looked at the earnest faced young man and tried to smile.

“Thanks, Cole… you helped.”

“I did? But you still hurt.”

“I do. But maybe I can make it better myself now.” He looked at her closely.

“I will help.” He said determinedly and disappeared from view. Sighing, she pulled the ribbon free and used it to pull her mass of hair away from her face.

“Alright…. Time to put my big girl smalls on.” And she reached for the oldest letter, breaking the seal and lifting it towards the lantern to read.

_Mi Amor,_

_It’s been a year since you disappeared, and my heart still wonders why. Why did you run away? I would not have made you stay where you did not want to be, I would have been content to just stay beside you and not with you. Instead, I am alone again, searching this mud infested country trying to find the one person who means something to me._

_I have heard a rumour of you in Ostwick, so I am under a royal decree to investigate the claims being made there. Alistair can go soak his head, though I'll let him fund the trip. I just want to find you. To see you. I won’t even be angry. I can’t be angry now._

_I miss you, mi amor. Please come home to me._

_Z_

Solona sniffled and read the letter a few more times before placing it beside her on the blanket. The next three letters, always dated the same day, but a year on from the last, were more about his search, and how he occasionally returned to Antiva City to slowly wear away at the Arainai Crow leadership. He wrote like he was talking to her, sharing his day to day experiences and how he dreamed of her at night. The second last letter, it was obvious that he was very, very drunk when he finished it because he had demanded that she show herself, that he loved her, and he forgave her. By the time that she had finished it, she was sobbing, her head bowed as his pain reaching for her. She’d been so caught up in trying to forget her friends that she didn’t even consider what her actions had meant to them or specifically him. Standing, tears running down her cheeks, she stumbled from her tent and into Dorian’s, catching him by surprise as she slumped to the floor.

“I can’t…. Dorian… I can’t.” She gasped, her heart breaking open. The cry that came from her throat was raw and so full of self-recrimination and pain. He was by her side in seconds, pulling her into his embrace, and holding her against his chest as she cried, muttering phrases in common and Tevene as he held her close. In a moment, the tent flap was thrust aside and Solona found herself caged by barefooted Ironbull and Cole, who wrapped themselves around her shaking body.

“I hurt him. So badly. All I was thinking of was myself and how hurt I was. So hurt, that it seemed better to hide away and avoid everything. I wouldn’t even let myself think about him or any of them. I shoved them all in a box and refused to open the lid.” She leaned into Dorian and sniffled inelegantly. “I am such an idiot. How can any of them forgive me?” Tears began rolling down her cheeks again.

Cole, though obviously feeling strange to be in a three-way hug with everyone pulled away and just looked at her and smiled, even while Dorian and Ironbull continued holding her. “Leliana doesn’t understand, but she loves you more than most anyone. She forgives you.” Solana made a little hiccupping noise, and Ironbull smirked.

“I’m getting some booze… I think we need it.” He got up, securing her in Dorian’s lap fully and disappeared quickly out of the tent flap. Dorian wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. “Look Sol, don’t repeat this, because I’d total deny it. It would ruin my reputation with all my male admirers. But you are one of my favourite people. You are loving, you care deeply, you’ve taken a bunch of strangers and formed a family. And, we love you.” He sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you. If you want to fix this, then we’ll fix this. But, until we get out of the cold and wet hellhole we are sitting in, I’d really rather we figure out why dead things are crawling out of the lake, instead than running off into the wild unknown – again.” Solana leant her head against his shoulder and reached out for the bottle of hooch that Ironbull appeared with. Solona nodded her head reluctantly, and looked up at Bull.

Hiccupping again, she murmured. “You remind me a little of Oghren. A never-ending supply of alcohol.”  
  
“Really? He sounds like good people.” Ironbull sank onto the bedroll on the other side of Dorian and winked at her. “You okay, Boss?”

“Yeah. Though I am embarrassed. You all probably think I am a complete looney.” She took another sip and moved off Dorian’s lap to squeeze between the two of them, grinning a little tearfully.

“Nah. You are human. You are all complicated emotions and apparent chocolate addictions.” He leant forward a moment and picked up the letters from the floor. She looked at him, her large green eyes widening as he opened the last one. He sighed and closed his eye a moment.

“He loves you Sol. He only wrote this a week ago. All it says is Mi Amor, I love you and I miss you. But I am tired. Z” Solana’s eyes teared up again.

“I have to find him Bull… I need too.” She pushed herself up into standing position, resolve covering her face.

“But we have dead things in Crestwood to investigate.” He said. She sighed and then turned to Cole.

“Cole, I need you to go back to Skyhold and bring Sera here. Then I have a mission for you. I need you to find Zevran Arainai. I know you can. You could find anyone, even if they didn’t want you to.” She looked at the young man. “You know where he is, don’t you?” Cole fingered one of the letters thoughtfully… and nodded.

“Tired, sad, lonely, aching. Wanting something he feels he can’t have. Angry, but at someone else. Not you. His soul is tired. He is sitting somewhere high, watching the moon. Holding a gold earring.” Solana’s breath caught. She remembered that earring, he’d told her the story about it. He’d offered it to her once, despite her relationship with Alistair.

“Go… go now… Please, Cole.” She thought a moment and pulled the simple necklace from around her neck and handed it to him. “Show him this. He’ll recognise it.” Grasping the necklace, Cole simply disappeared.

“Hmm…. That never stops being freaky.” Ironbull stated dryly. “What’s with the necklace?”

Solona bit back a sigh and pulled the bottle of alcohol from Dorian’s hand. “It’s my warden necklace. Once, a very long time ago, before the blight had ended, Zevran helped me carve all our names into the back of it. Me, him, Sten, Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana, Shale and Barkspawn. So, I’d always have them with him, as well as a link to the warden’s who had come before us. He’ll recognise it.” She flopped on the floor at their feet and looked up at them through thick lashes.

“So… let’s talk about something else… Are you two gonna be getting it on anytime soon? Because I bet Verric five royals and an introduction to his merchant guild contacts if you got to know each other, loudly, before we got back to Skyhold.” She burst out laughing as Dorian’s face turned a deep, dark red and he began spluttering. Ironbull just threw his head back and laughed.

“Believe me, Boss. I’m trying!”

“Vishante kaffas!” Dorian scowled at both of them. “I won’t have my love life dictated by your insatiable need for chocolate.” Solona kept giggling.

“I’m just saying, Dorian. That I’m interested. And if you ever want to explore that… my door is always open.” Ironbull stood and flexed his chest at Dorian. Solona gave a true, deep laugh. 

"Mmmmm! Do that again, Bull!" She egged him on.

“You are both impossible!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironbull and Dorian probably aren't quite right, but I love the Adoribull romance. I always start a male character intending to romance Dorian because after Blackwall in DA:I, he is my favourite, but it breaks my heart not to get these two together.
> 
> Cole to the rescue soon! Because Cole is love.


	6. Saved From The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran is standing at the docks in Highever, contemplating his future when a Coles appears and brings him some hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zevran's POV

Zevran leaned against the dock all and started out over the Waking Sea. He was tired. He was tired of being without her and alone. He was tired of pretending he had no ties, that he was just a carefree Antivan assassin, who lived for drinking, sex and indiscriminate murder. He was tired of being alone and hunting for a ghost. He just wanted to be with Solona, wherever she was.

Over the years, he has seen her change in his imagination. When they had first met, she had just started to lose the last of the childhood puppy fat from her cheeks. Her thick blonde hair had been in a messy bun on top of her head and she stared down at him with amused blue eyes, whilst her companions, especially her fellow warden, had watching him with varying degrees of mistrust or outright hatred.

Her quick sense of wit and humour had endeared her to him quickly, and for a while he had had hopes that she might come to care for him, just as he had started to care for her. That had confused him, considering he had always been taught that emotions and emotional entanglements were what doomed an assassin. Besides, at the time, he had still been reeling from Rinna. That was a regret he would bear until the day he passed beyond the veil. So, instead of pursuing her, he had run circles around her, teasing, playing and flirting with others, until she gave her attentions elsewhere and he had broken his own heart.

Still, he couldn’t leave her. He felt a strong need to protect her, despite knowing there was little she couldn’t face alone. He needed to be near her, touch her occasionally and just be near her. He treasured the friendship she had offered, helping her to clear Fereldan of the Blight all the while knowing that he hadn’t meant to steer her away from himself. Or alternatively hoping that she’d see Alistair for the weak man he was. Well, not weak, but easily led and influenced. He’d had an idea of what might happen after the Archdemon had been killed, but he didn’t expect Alistair to toss her aside so quickly.

He’d seen the momentary look of devastation on her face when Alistair had broken their ties. He had watched a stone mask drop-down, hiding her thoughts and feelings and her graceful exit from the room as soon as the conversation had been over. He’d watched her force a smile and happiness whilst standing in the Denerim Castle hall, being called the Hero of Fereldan, the King's best friend, and greeting the delighted citizenry of Denerim, as they celebrated the end of the Fifth Blight. He had glared at Alistair through the formal dinner, watching her as she sat, a frozen smile on her face, not eating anything or responding to anything Alistair had said. When she had fled from the room, hours later, he had trailed her to Wynne’s apartments, and after listening to the sobs through the door, he had left to find his own diversions and pursuits, knowing she was in good care. Eventually, he had found his way to a Wicked Grace game with Oghren, Fergus Cousland and strangely, Sten. He had managed to fleece the young Highever Teyrn and Oghren out of most of their gold. Sten, was impassive as usual, though he was giving Zevran more of a challenge than he had originally expected.

After a few hours, she had shown up beside him at the game table, tears in her lashes. She had started drinking with Oghren, daring him to match her drink for drink. As the hours past, and the midnight watch was called, she had crept closer to him, leaning against him, touching his hands, thighs and face until he gave into the alcohol he had drunk and the temptation sitting next to him and pulled her into an embrace, kissing her hungrily, trying to consume her.

That kiss had led to more, both frantic in their attentions to the other, and led them away from the game table. Their departure wasn’t noticed, as both Fergus and Oghren were drunkenly asleep on the table. He had quickly moved her behind a darkened column and moaned when she had jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, her skin hot and her hands all over him as they tried to get closer to each other. Eventually, they had made it to his room, where hands had yanked off armour and clothes and he picked her up against, holding her against the door as he had slid into her depths, groaning against her throat as she had tightened her thighs, drawing him in deeper. The feeling of her tight, wet heat surrounding him had driven him to distraction, the soft sounds she made as they came together had finished breaking his heart wide open, finally letting himself let her in even as he whispered heavily accented endearments against the soft skin of her throat. Their frenzied lovemaking slowly morphed into slow experimental touches and loud gasps. Fingers had torments, tongues had taste and love was made, hands and bodies worshipping each other until they had both fallen asleep, curled together like they belonged there. He had known then, with his last conscious thought, that they were meant to be.

The following morning had been a rude awakening. He had woken to his door slamming open and a frantic Alistair shaking his shoulders.

“Zev! Zev! Where is she?”

“She who?” He had been uncharacteristically confused, distracted by the fact that Solona was no longer next to him and that something was tied around the hand that he had held her close with.

“Sol! She not in her room, and no one can find her. Not here in the castle or the grounds.” Alistair looked green, as he eyed the dishevelled elf. Zevran’s felt his heart contract in his chest.

“The armour I gave her is piled on her bed and the Lothering Rose I gave her is on the floor… Zev… Zevran are you even listening to me?”

Zevran wasn’t listening, now that he’d moved slightly, he could feel paper resting against his thigh.

“No, mi rey, I am not. You know Solona, she was… distraught yesterday. She’ll have just gone for a walk. Yesterday was hard for her.” He glared at his young friend. “I will find her, Alistair, she will not be able to hide from the great Zevran Arainai!” When Alistair had left the room, he’d looked down to find a thick portion of her blonde hair was wrapped around his hand and next to it and folded over piece of paper that simply stated: I am sorry.

How he had regretted the boastful words he’d made that day. It had soon become clear that she had managed to evade him, and even hiding from Leliana’s spies. No one heard from her. Occasionally there would be sightings of a person assumed to be her. Six months after the Blight had ended, he’d rushed to Aramanthine after hearing about a mysterious warden mage who had helped with the Darkspawn there, but none could say where she had gone, only stating that she had seemed so impossibly sad and lonely. Oghren, now a warden, had had his theories, but she had avoided being in his company outside of missions, so he was never quite sure if she was who he thought she was. In the end, he’d decided that the booze was making him see things that weren’t there. After all, the woman in question had been a redhead and had brown eyes. Solona was a tiny blonde, with bright blue eyes and wouldn’t travel anywhere without her Mabari. Still, something about the stories had niggled at his mind and he had chased rumours of this woman, even going so far to travel to Weisshaupt to ask questions – not that they gave him any. All they’d said was if he found the lost warden, he was to send the information to them immediately.

Five years into his search, and half of his former crow house dead, Zevran had returned to his small apartment in Antiva City to a letter resting on the floor. It had been from Irving, the First Enchanter of Kinloch, informing him that Wynne had passed away in her sleep suddenly, but had been cared for in her last days by her most favourite pupil and her animal companion. His heart had leapt. That could only be Solona! He had left Antiva the very next day, knowing he would probably be too late, but was sure there would be a trail to follow. Unfortunately, people knew nothing beyond the doors of The Spoilt Princess near Kinloch hold, only stating that she had left ten days previously and had not been seen since. The barkeeper had said a bit more, saying that he had recognised the Hero of Fereldan as being their guest, but he had left her alone, sensing her sadness, and then waking to hear her cries the morning of her departure upon finding her faithful mabari had passed away during the night. As a kindness, he and his stable boy had buried the creature under a nearby tree and after spending a few hours kneeling beside the grave, he said she had simply stood up and walked away.

Zevran had stood in front of the grave for a while, whilst Barkspawn and he had never been particularly close, he’d respected the hound and it seemed that respect had been returned. Using a form of magic, he’d never witnessed her use, Solona had erected a small headstone that had read:  
Barkspawn  
Faithful Mabari  
Solona’s Friend and Companion  
Greatly loved and missed.

Seeing the words, seeing her name had given him hope that she was still out there, however far away she was. He had returned to his hunts, both in search of his heart and to rid Thedas of the blighted House Arainai. The hope had lasted for a few years until eventually, he had felt it was time to accept that she was gone for good. House Arainai was all but gone. There had been no sightings of anyone that matched her description and now it seemed the world was trying to end itself again. He’d been travelling near Edgehall when the sky had exploded, ripping open and throwing demons out into the land. He was sick of fighting and killing. Sick of everything and the overwhelming sense of loss he felt. In the ten years, he had searched, he had remained faithful to her, his Solona. Knowing that no other could take her place. Eventually, he became convinced that his time here was done. Maybe she was actually gone. So, the best answer would be to slip across the veil and meet her in the Fade. Surely, he deserved that much? Maybe that made him weak and dependent, but he no longer had the will to keep going.

So, he’d written one last letter to Solona and then had sent it and all the others he had written to Leliana, knowing that every year, she organised a remembrance service for Solona at the Denerim Chantry. Then he travelled to Highever, to catch a Kirkwall trading ship back to the Marches. He’d go back to Antiva, and hopefully, as he plunged his dagger into Claudio Arainai chest, the Gods would have mercy on him and give him death too. Pushing back his hood, he rubbed his chin. If he was correct, he recognised one of the ships in port. Isabela owed him a favour or two, maybe he’d be able to convince her to take him all the way to Antiva.

“Sadness. Lost. Searching. Hurt. Loving. She wants you, but she’s scared. She’s worried. She worries for you, she worries for Thedas. She loves you so much it shines from her soul. But she’s scared to come near.” A quiet voice reaches out to him from near the wall he’d been leaning against a moment ago.

Zevran spun around, dropping into a crouch, his silverite daggers drawn out in defence.

“What are you talking about, boy?” He bit out sharply. He didn’t like being surprised, and now his anger was quick to ignite and flare to life.

“Solona. She is reading your letter and she is crying. The hurt is so deep she feels like it is endless.” The young man’s face held innocence and a complete lack of guile. Zevran stood and approached him, eyeing him warily.

“You know Solona?” His voice was whisper quiet, the accent thick as the anger faded into tentative, but distrustful hope.

“Yes! Bright, loyal, laughing, silly, slips through the fade, steals everyone’s chocolate. I leave chocolate where she can find it. It makes her giggle like a girl.” He paused. “I said I would help. Please let me help.”

Zev stepped closer. “How do I know what you say is true? I’ve been searching for 10 years.” He refused to give in to hope, not after having it dashed so often. In moment, a worn silver necklace was dangling before his eyes. He followed it like a pendulum, as it spun in the evening light. Reaching up, he snatched it from the strange boy’s hand, his fingers trembling. Turning it over, he felt his world pitch sideways. There, carefully etched by his hand was his name, next to hers and everyone else’s. He would recognise this pendant anywhere. He clutched it to his chest and stared at the boy.

“WHO are you?!” His voice cracked.

“Cole. I am Cole. I want to help.” Zev paced up and down the dock, his mind reeling, but his body filed with excited tension.

“WHERE is she?” He burst out.

Cole thought, confused for a moment and then said decisively, “Skyhold. She was going to go to Crestwood but got a message from Leliana that she needs to return.”

“Leliana knew where she was?!” Zevran saw red. For years she had known he was searching for her and had said nothing.

“Only recently. She hid, changed her face, ran when she thought she was discovered.” Cole stood and jumped down to stand next to him.

“She wants you. No. She needs you. But she’s scared to open the lid of the box.” He looked at the elf closely.

“You love her. She needs your forgiveness.”

“I forgave her ten years ago.”

“You did. But she has not forgiven herself. You need to tell her how you feel. It will make the pain go away. You have to hurry… the king is riding to Skyhold, he will be there in a week.” Zevran’s eyebrows rose again. “She won’t be able to cope without you.” Cole disappeared. Waving his hand in front of himself for a moment, checking to see if the odd boy was still there, Zevran took off running for the inn and its stables. If he moved quickly, he could be at Skyhold in two days. He had to beat Alistair, but mostly, he had to find Solona. As his horse galloped through the Highever gates, he failed to notice the raven circling the raven tower nearby. His attention was firmly placed on the distant Frostback’s, and his love.


	7. Love comes on fleet feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solona is impatiently waiting for Zevran to show up and is driving her friends nuts.

She was exhausted. She was filthy and she was more than a little pissed off to be recalled to Skyhold before actually making it to Crestwood. Instead of showing up to assist on the mission, Sera had shown up with Cassandra, Solas and Blackwall of all people and told her that her presence was urgently requested at Skyhold and that they would continue to Crestwood in her absence. Sol ground her teeth. She was the Inquisitor, and her presence is Crestwood was definitely required.

Stopping in the main courtyard, she tiredly dropped down the side of her horse, who good-naturedly tried to chew on her elbow.

“Stop it, Max. Dennet is made of sugar cubes. Not me.” She giggled and pushed him away as she stepped towards Cullen, who was running stressed fingers over the back of his neck.

“Commander, is the world ending? There better be a good reason to pull me back.” She scowled up at him, irritation on every line of her face.

“Yes… well, there is, Inquisitor. Varric has invited someone important who knows about Corypheus and well, we thought it would be better to get Cassandra out of here before she found out.” Solona pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Are you sure they know about Coryphenis?” She asked, stealing one of Sera’s names for him, just to irritate her friend. Which worked. He rolled his eyes at her.

“Yes, Sol. He asked if you could meet him up on the battlements over there when you arrived.” He pointed vaguely to the tower over The Herald’s Rest. Solona nodded.

“Fine. I’m having a bath first. This better not be a Kirkwall nutjob.” He nodded and moved to stand out of her path. She just crossed her arms and glared, tapping her foot at him.

“Oh, just give in Commander. She’s not going to move until she gets her reward.” Dorian walked past, looking as pristine as usual, his riding cloak slung elegantly over his arm and shoulder. Ironbull smirked and just walked past, pinching Dorian’s butt as he did so.  
  
“Fasta vass, you great oaf!” Dorian yelled, and stomped after the huge Qunari, railing at him in Tevene.

“Cullen… I’m waiting.” She glared up at him and felt a small surge of triumph when his expression changed, and he gave in to her demand.

“Fine, here you chocolate obsessed miscreant. You are worse than a mabari! Maker’s breath!” He tossed a small bag towards her and then smiled to himself as she ran off towards the main hall with her prize. Leliana appeared at his shoulder.

“Are you ever going to tell her that you special order those for her from Val Royeaux on a weekly commission?” Her voice soft and lilting softly with her Orlesian accent.

“No, I don’t think so. It makes her happy to think she’s eating something she thinks I love. It’s not a hardship to get them. If it helps her relax a little bit, who am I to complain?” He smiled down at the former bard and began to walk towards his tower.

“Cullen… don’t fall for her. She’s not for you.” Leliana spoke so softly he barely heard her. He spun around and looked at her. “Be her friend, but her heart belongs to someone else. It has for ten years.” She sighed. “Even after ten years, mine has not yet recovered. There is someone out there for you_, mon ami_, but it is not she.” Cullen stared at her for a moment, his cheeks red, then he nodded.

“Yes, you are right.” He sounded sad.

“She’ll need your friendship soon, I think. Sol is brave, but even her spirit is starting to crack under the strain.” Leliana kissed him on the cheek and disappeared into the hold. Cullen stared up at the Inquisitor’s tower for a moment and then sighed deeply before heading back to the training field, his heart a little heavier.

***

“Well… that was… completely unexpected.” Solona leaned back against Ironbull’s side and looked at Varric. Bull just moved slightly to accommodate her slight weight and went back to drinking with Krem.

“Any more surprises hiding in that chest hair?” She leaned forward as if to check and Varric laughed out loud. “Now I know why Cullen and Leli wanted Cass out of here. She is going to kick your ass.” Sol smirked. “No more secrets Varric. I need all the information I can to fight this battle.”

“I promise, Firefly. No more secrets.” He looked at her sincerely. “I was just trying to protect her. Someone had to.” He looked down at his ale mug. Solona narrowed her eyes but was distracted and almost fell off her bench when Cole appeared, sitting cross-legged on the table in front of her.

“Eeep! Cole! Damn it!” Half off the bench, with Ironbull keeping her from crashing to the ground, she glared at Cole through her mass of blonde hair. Courteously, Bull righted her onto the bench and returned to his conversation.

“He comes! Fast, riding through the night. Racing against the King… His heart is singing!” Cole looked at the open mouth Solona. “Speeding, desperate, wanting, needing, he comes!” Solona closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

“When Cole?” she whispered, her face white. Cole looks confused for a moment.

“Before the sun comes up in three days.” Gathering her composure, she nodded and moved to sit properly on the bench, trying to pretend that this didn’t make a frisson of electric anticipation move up and down her spine.

“Come sit with us, Cole. Bull was about to tell us about the time her and the chargers when giant baiting.” She cast a look at the huge Ben-Hassrath, who started telling the tale without missing a beat. Cole, who loves stories of any kind, was instantly enthralled, so his attention was not so starkly centred on herself. Her mind was spinning, feeling a pit of dread and a wild excitement at the same time. Taking a deep breath in, she smiled at Varric who was watching her carefully, his pen tapping over the page of notes in front of him.

“I met him once, you know.” He said quietly. “Hawke, Bela, Fenris and I were out on the Wounded Coast, searching Sundermount for this horrendous and evil murderer. It turned out it was Zevran. Charming, friendly… but sad. Bela was most displeased when he turned down her…. Invitation?” He smirked. “All he said was “My heart belongs to someone else and I will not share it or myself with another". Then he complimented Bianca, helped us kill those who were tracking him and disappeared.” He gave her an appraising look. “He’s a complicated individual.”

Solona nodded. “Other’s didn’t see it. I did. He’d flirt, make merry, dance around, exaggerate. He is a sneaky, underhanded man and a murderer. But, underneath that… Oh, the conversations we’d have late at night.” She chuckled under her breath. “We’d talk about things I’d never consider discussing with Alistair. Alistair was… passive in some ways. I had to lead. Zevran would share his opinion, and I cherished that.” Sighing, she stood up.  
  
“Anyway… I am tired. Tell Hawke that I’ll be ready to leave for Crestwood to meet her warden friend in four days. I… have some thinking to do.” She smiled at him warmly and using Bull’s bicep to steady herself as she stepped over the bench, she moved through the crowded tavern to the exit.

Cole looked at Varric. “Did I help?” He sounded a little worried.

“Yeah, kid. You did.” Cole smiled at the dwarf, pleased.

***

Solona spent the next two days living on the edge of her skin. She felt hyper-aware of everything going around her and felt like amber eyes were following her every move. The anticipation she felt was making her touchy and sarcastic until Dorian had finally pulled her off her Trainer when Sol’s magic had threatened to send the poor woman into the fade permanently.

“Solona Amell! Pull yourself together!” He smiled at the slightly dishevelled mage in front of them and forcefully pulled Sol out of the training area. “Your Trainer doesn’t deserve to live in the Fade, no matter how irritating and clueless she is.” Sol, who’s breath was coming out in small pants, looked instantly contrite. Slumping against the wall, she looked up at her best friend.

“I am about to jump out of my skin, Dor. If Cole is right about the times… he or they will be here by morning.” Dorian looked at her appraisingly.

“So, which is causing this upset, Darling? The Crow or the King?” Taking her hand, he walked her up the stairs and into the great hall whilst she considered her answer.

“Honestly, Zevran. Alistair is going to rant and rave. Probably call me names, wave his hands around and pace. Then he’ll get over it. Probably. Most likely.” They passed through Solas’ section of the rotunda and smirked. “Hey Dor… did you hear what I did to Solas the morning we left for Crestwood the last time?” Dorian looked down at his tiny friend and was cheered by the cheeky grin that wreathed her face.

“No… what did you do to our dear hobo apostate?” He continued leading her up to the library and pushed her into one of the chairs in his little nook.

“Well, I was up in the rookery talking to Leliana and Bull came in and bellowed at me that I was holding the group up.” Dorian nodded. Solona was infamous for taking her time or getting started in the morning. Dorian was convinced it was solely to piss off Cassandra or Bull, who both liked to leave early. It was a sign of stubbornness, he assumed. “So, I jumped from the Rookery, down onto Solas’ desk. He actually squeaked!” Solona giggled. “The book he was reading went flying and he started sparking lightning. That’ll teach him to eat the last of the cake the other day.”  
  


Dorian snickered and passed her the newly opened bottle of Tevinter Red he’d had stashed away. “You are probably lucky he didn’t fry you.” He settled himself on a cushion between her feet and leant back against her legs. “Now… I know you are nervous. But you don’t think he’s going to hurt you?”

“Who Zevran? No. I am worried about me. Hurting him again. Or crying all over him. Or both.” She sighed. “Last time he saw me, I was the Hero of Fereldan. I helped stop the blight, I killed Loghain. And I ruthlessly slept with him and then ran away because of my feelings. Now I am ten years older, I am Herald of Andraste – a title in a religion that I am deeply distrustful of, and now I am the bloody Inquisitor. I have the lives of everyone in Thedas sitting on my shoulders. What if I destroy him? That would destroy me.” She whispered, her voice catching. Dorian twisted and looked up at her.

“Sol. It’s okay to have something and someone for yourself. To have comfort and support. To let someone close. Pleased believe me, you know I am right.” He stated arrogantly but softened it with a smile.

“Uh-huh… so are you going to take that advice, Lord Pavus?” She smarted back at him.

He sighed. “I tell you what. If you give, whatever this will be, a chance. I’ll think about it with Ironbull.” He said it like he was making a huge concession just for her.

“Dor… he cares about you. Anyone with two eyes… hell even one eye can see that. And you are more than a bit interested in him.” Dorian flushed a deep red.

“I am not ready to discuss who I do or don’t like. That’s my deal. To help out, I’ll even make sure that Varric isn’t hiding somewhere tomorrow morning, wouldn’t want your intimates of intimates getting thrown about. Yet, anyway.” He settled back against the chair, his head resting against her knees. Taking another pull at the bottle of wine. “You could kiss him. I bet that’d shut him up.” Solona blushed.

“I guess that’s one option. But I am sure there are better choices.”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe waiting for him in your small clothes would stop any anger he may or may not be feeling. I’ve found that it has worked on occasion.” He stated daintily.

“Maybe you should just teach me your veil dance, then I could do that to keep myself from freezing to death outside waiting?”

“That’s only for a very special occasion.” He grinned at her smirk. She calmed down again.

“I am not sure I am going to want him to leave my side, when he gets here. I have so much to do. I can’t expect him to drop his life and follow me around Thedas.”

“Maybe you can. If I’ve learnt anything from those letters he wrote, I don’t think he’s going to be willing to let you out of his sight for a while. So, I think I’d plan on him coming to Crestwood at the very least.” He paused. “Will I need earplugs?”

“Dorian!” She poked the back of his head and took another sip of the wine.

“Hey, it’s a legitimate concern. It’d be like listening to my sister have sex.”

She pushed him forward and stood up. “You are incorrigible!” She laughed and headed for the stairs. Her voice floated up from the bottom of the rotunda. “But not a bad idea. The man has skills!” Her delighted giggle was followed a disgusted groan from him.

“Ugh!”

***

The chat with Dorian helped, as did the wine. Solona went back down to the training yard to apologise to Your Trainer, only to discover that the woman had no memory of that morning at all. So instead, she asked some more questions on things to study up on and made her way to the gardens, sending the ever-present Scout Jim to locate Cullen and ask him to come and play chess with her. Whilst still restless, she realised that there was little to no point in exhausting herself. That’d put herself and others in danger, especially is she was unable to maintain concentration.

Several games later, and soundly beaten by a delighted Cullen, Solona slunk off towards her tower room just as the sun had started to set. Grabbing some food off the front tables, she made her way to her rooms, deciding that it would be better to respond to letters and official papers than keep others company this evening. She had asked Ironbull and Dorian to keep Cole busy and occupied, because whilst she understood he just really wanted to help, she didn’t want him trying to unpack her thoughts at the moment. Reading the correspondence led to a meeting in the war room with her advisors, as they tried to set out the priorities for her trip back to Crestwood. Given the missives she had received from both Cassandra and Solas, she decided that the town and its rift would be a priority, and then from there, she’d head out to the Warden camp to meet with Hawke and her friend. She also decided that Scout Harding should be sent to the Western Approach to investigate some rumours regarding the Venatori out there, and on a hunch, she asked Cullen to start training a young local lad, called Sutherland, feeling that he would have a significant role to play in the future. Lastly, she and Josephine decided to approve Krem’s request to bring the chargers to Haven and see what they could find supply and possible survivors, as slender as that chance might be. She stayed at the war table for an hour or so after the other three had left, trying to line up correspondence requests with markers on the board. Shortly after, she separated the letters into levels of importance and deposited most of them on Josie’s desk with notes that stated “Nope”, “Tell them to marry themselves”, a very delicate, and ladylike “Fuck off” and a few with notes written on the bottom detailing how she wanted the situations dealt with.

Just as the watch bell struck the first hour after midnight, she found herself out on her balcony, looking out over the fortress. For once it was a clear night, and she could see the stars blooming across the heavens. From her vantage point, she could hear the loud chatter of people in the Tavern, see the movements of the guards as they patrolled the ramparts. For Skyhold it was quiet. She was still uneasy, though it had settled mostly into calm and patience. She had faith that Zevran would arrive before the King because she had to believe that.

Sighing she walked into the room and shed her clothes, leaving them in a trail behind her, pulling on a soft nightgown as she approached the bed. Picking up the latest version of Swords and Shields she tucked herself under the covers, convinced that she wouldn’t sleep that night. Within minutes, she was sound away, arm thrown out to the empty side.

From the balcony, a shadow parted from the darkness and snuck into the room, hood covering his face. Long tanned fingers reached out and lightly touch her cheek reverently.

“Mi amor…”


	8. The heart knows what the heart knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry - a day late because of Christmas day celebrations!  
\------------------------------------------------  
Zevran explores Skyhold before finding his way to Solona, discovering new things about his lady-love and warning others.

The ride to Skyhold had not taken him as long as he had thought. It felt as though fate was on his side as he rode along snow and mud choked roads, racing towards the heart of the Inquisition. Mid-afternoon, he had reached the towering fortress, and joined in the back of a supply wagon train and entered. Skyhold was a wonder. He could see the hard work ongoing to make the place liveable and could feel the age of it below his feet. He had paid Dennet with the spare horse he’d purchased in Highever to care for his mount, Hero, and had stepped out into the wan afternoon sun, drawing his cloak around him tightly. He needed to get a feel for the place and its inhabitants before making himself know.

He had started when he heard a loud, chastising voice yelling from close by and rushed towards it, though keeping to the shadows, ducking behind the market stalls.

“Solona Amell! Pull yourself together!” The tone of the man was designed to get her attention and Zevran appeared around the corner in time to see a very well-dressed man, grabbing onto the arm of Zevran's tiny, blonde human, and the man was frowning down at her even as he pulled her towards a set of stairs. Zevran moved a little and watched as he continued to almost berate her and she slumped, against the wall next to him.

His breath caught in his throat. His love. She radiated a golden beauty, now instead of the youthful face of a 19-year-old, she was a woman. Well rounded and so curvaceous, his fingers itched to mold her curves and press into them. Her skin seemed to glow even in the shadows, her thick blond hair caught up in a messy bun at the top of her head and her clear blue eyes seemed lively, yet there was a depth of sadness that Zevran knew matched his own. He certainly didn’t like the territorial way the other man was holding her arm or the contrite way she was looking at him either. Jealousy reared its head as the man wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her up the stairs and disappeared.

A voice spoke from his left side.

“Good! I thought the Inquisitor was going to kill poor Trainer this time.” Zevran looked over at the pale-skinned Orlesian Shop Keeper.

“Oh?” He asked mildly.

She nodded emphatically. “She’s been living on the edge of her skin since yesterday morning when she returned from Crestwood. Seems to be everywhere and into everything. The cook has kicked her out of the kitchen at least three times today alone and Cullen told her off when she tried to goad one of the templars into fighting her.” The woman laughed. “Then she challenged Iron Bull to a race around the battlements and got angry when he caught her fade walking and called her a cheater.”

Zevran was fascinated. Fade Walking? That was new.

“Why’d she get kicked out of the kitchens?”

“Because she was trying to steal dessert before anyone else got any for the midday meal.” She gave him a strange look and then her eyes shuttered.

“New here?”

“Yes, just arrived from Highever.”

“Ah… well, you’ll need to see Lady Nightingale if you have skill with those daggers of yours. She’s up in the Rookery. Maybe I’ll see you again.” She turned, dismissing him as a customer approached her stall.

“Oh…. I’m definitely going to see the Nightingale. We have some business to discuss.” He muttered and moved up the stairs, keeping to the shadows.

***

It was with skill only that he managed to get through the main hall unnoticed and through the rotunda to another set of stairs. The next part would prove to be trickier. As he turned the corner in the stairwell, he heard the mystery man’s voice again, and then was rooted to the spot as she spoke in return. He listened unabashedly, feeling the fist that had been clenched around his heart loosen a little as they spoke.

“…I know you are nervous. But you don’t think he’s going to hurt you?” There was a sloshing sound as Zevran crept a bit further up the stairs to find the two of them sitting together in an alcove. She in a plush red velvet chair, and he sitting on the floor between her legs, sharing a bottle of wine. She was absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair.

“Who Zevran? No. I am worried about me. Hurting him again. Or crying all over him. Or both.” She sighed. “Last time he saw me, I was the Hero of Fereldan. I helped stop the blight, I killed Loghain. And I ruthlessly slept with him and then ran away like a scared fool because of my feelings. Now I am ten years older, I am Herald of Andraste – a title in a religion that I am deeply distrustful of, and now I am the bloody Inquisitor. I have the lives of everyone in Thedas sitting on my shoulders. What if I destroy him? That would destroy me.”

Zevran stopped listening and sat down on the stair beneath him. He felt worry begin to settle across his shoulders. Her voice, whilst still light and musical sounded older, careworn and exhausted. He will admit, he felt a frisson of delight slide over his skin when she had said his name. He had never expected to hear it again, nor the gentle way she said it. He wanted to race up the stairs and snatch her away from the pretty man sitting between her thighs. He tuned into the conversation as it switched to her advising him about his relationship with a man called Iron Bull at which point Dorian, made what Zevran felt were some completely sensible suggestions. He certainly wouldn’t mind being kissed into submission WHILST she was wearing lacy small clothes.

And then, his heart mended just a little more. Her warm honey voice admitting to her friend that she wouldn’t want him to leave her. As if he would. He hadn’t spent 10 years looking for her, to just drop by for a visit and then leave. Especially not if she was the Inquisitor. He’d heard of the person, of course, but had not heard a description of her. He would absolutely “drop his life”, because to be honest, it wasn’t much of one now that House Arainai was all but destroyed, and his life would have been with her, no matter the circumstances 10 years ago. He decided that he liked the smooth-talking Tevinter man as he assured Solona that their meeting would be fine and caught back a laugh when he asked her about earplugs. A second sense told it was time to move, so he quickly moved down the stairs and underneath where they were talking. Seconds later, she appeared at the bottom of the stairs, all cheeky grins, sparkling blue eyes and wild hair.

“But not a made idea. The man has skills!” She called gleefully as she ran across the room and out the side door into the main hall.

Zevran grinned, his mind replaying the sway of her hips as she had run, and the rounded curves she had gained over the years. “You have no idea, mi amor. But you will!” He licked his lips and started back up the stairs, managing to slip past the now absorbed Tevene and up into the Rookery above.

***

The top of the tower was filled with the sound of feathers rustling and the soft caws of Leliana’s ravens. There were a few scouts pouring over missives or talking in small groups, but few gave him more than a cursory look. Zevran walked further into the room, pushing his hood back and stopped at an organised, but cluttered desk, noting information on different Orlesian noble, troop movements and scout schedules.

“Zevran, _mon ami_!” Zevran turned just moments before he was enclosed in perfumed arms and his face kissed multiple times. He quickly took advantage and bent Leliana back over one arm and kissed her soundly. She smacked his shoulder when he stood her up, yet she was laughing, clearly enjoying his outrageous antics.

“Leliana, you look wonderful. This chainmail and leather look really sets off your body, no?” She blushed a little and smiled at him.

“I am so glad my letter reached you, though I wasn’t expecting you for at least a few more days.” She said as she stepped away and moved to lean against her desk, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Letter? I received no letter.” He looked at her confused.

“Then how do you know she is here?” He looked at her, his displeasure apparent on his face.

“_Mi Tesoro_, you should have told me you knew where she was or that you were with her! I have been half-dead for a decade.” He looked away and down at his finely made, though very old Antivan leather boots. She reached over and put her hand on his shoulder and squeeze gently.

“Come out on the balcony with me, and I will explain.” She walked out into the afternoon light, as once he followed her, firmly closed the door behind him.

“First, tell me how you knew she was here?” She was curious, though had an inkling of an idea. Zevran coughed and reddened a little.

“I was at the docks in Highever. I had just decided to go back to Antiva and finally go after Claudio Arainai and hope that whilst I took him out… he’d help me. I was done being here without her.” He flushed and looked away again. “Then this strange boy appeared out of thin air and told me she was here and that she was scared and missed me. Leliana… I thought my heart would burst with joy.”

“A strange boy? Cole? And you believed him?” She raised an eyebrow, Zevran had never been so quick to believe a stranger before. Zevran reached into her shirt and pulled out the silver pendant.

“He gave me this. Then I believed him.” Leliana’s breath caught in her throat.

“She still had this? After all this time?” He nodded and watched as tears formed at the corner of her eyes.

“I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve been so angry at her.” She looked out across the fortress and then turned to face him.

“I won’t tell you why she ran all those years ago, that is between you and her. But I can tell you that her life is in almost constant danger. She is the Inquisitor; some see her as the Herald of Andraste. Her magic is so strong, and she slips between the fade with no care for herself. She takes on everyone’s problems and seeks nothing for herself. She is not the girl you knew. Plus, there is the fact that she has the mark. Zevran… it’s not good.” She refused to lie to him.

“The mark?” He asked.

“Yes, when she exited the fade at The Temple of Sacred Ashes, her left hand was marked with powerful green magic. Solas managed to slow its progress and closing the rift over the Temple helped slow it. She uses it to close rifts and flight demons, but I can see that it is taking more and more from her every day. She tries to hide it. There is more, but once again, that’s something to talk with her about. She needs someone that is here for her and her only, Zev.” She looked away. “Everyone else here wants something from her… in a way, even me.” She sighed.

Zevran looked at her sharply.

“I need her to keep up the front, and fix Thedas. You, I think, would probably let Thedas fall to protect her… I can’t.” Her tone was ashamed. “I love her. But, I would….” She walked away and refused to finish her sentence. “But, right now, I work hard to keep her safe, like I always did. Even if she resents it. And she does.”

Zevran came to stand next to her and took her hand. “I promise you, Leliana. I **WILL** protect her and I will see Thedas burn before I am separated from her again.” He moved towards the door. “I am going to explore now, I must learn the layout of my new home and who lives here. I will find her tonight, please don’t tell her I am here.” He turned away and moved to open the door.

“I know, somehow, you are involved in why Solona is caught in this situation.” He stood with his hand on the door latch. “It’s a poor way to treat a woman who saved your life times beyond measure, who saved the lives of thousands of people during the blight and a part of me hates you. You are still my friend, but if something happens to Solona… I’ll never forgive you.” He opened the door and disappeared through.

Leliana, stood against the balcony wall and let the tears fall, even as she watched Solona heading towards the gardens. “I’m so sorry, _mon bel amour_.”

***

For the rest of the evening, Zevran explored every nook and cranny of Skyhold. He had listened at the war room door, snuck up the stairs to her loft, shaking his head noticing that some things never changed and Solona’s belongings were everywhere. He had investigated the barracks and the kitchens and now he was in the tavern, getting used to the layout and who was frequenting it.

A huge Qunari held court in one corner, surrounded by his fellow mercenaries. They were talking loudly about their recent adventures, and Zevran would have passed them by if one of them hadn’t started talking about his love. The young tevinter man, spoke clearly, though somewhat excitedly.

“And we thought we were done for! The rift was spitting down demons faster than we could kill ‘em, and then the Inquisitor jumped into the middle of the fray and her staff was fast as lightning. She, Dorian and Solas were firing of spells so fast it made my head spin! And all the while she’s shit-talking the demons, and calling them names. Then, just as it gets worse, and we are surrounded, she brings her hand up and BOOM! All the demons fell down dead, killed by this small rift she created over our heads!” This was received with some good-natured laughter and some pointed comments laced with doubt until the Qunari broke in.

“Nah, I’ve seen the boss do that. She learnt that trick after Haven. Saved our asses more than a few times!” He bellowed a laugh. “I think, if I could get her to agree, I’d have her jump from my horns into the fray and just cast that. Though, that might mean that I wouldn’t get to kill anything, so maybe not.”

“Hmmm….” This Qunari spoke with an easy familiarity of his amor, so Zevran made note to speak with him more in the future. Sitting into a darkened corner, he settled in for the evening, keeping his hood over his face and just listened.

He learnt that Solona was infamous for her chocolate addiction and thievery and whilst some of those living in the fortress had never spoken to her specifically, she was held in high esteem by those living there. One group of men by the fireside were entertaining each other with stories of pranks she’d pulled on different members of her inner circle, whilst another was discussing her bravery in closing the rift to another group of younger, new recruits. Yet another group were trying to decide whether she’d be interested in them, but ultimately decided they didn’t have the nerve to find out. Zevran smiled slightly at that. They had no chance.

He did notice that the strange young man, was sitting next to the handsome Tevene from earlier in the day. The boy had spent a while watching him curiously, before smiling to himself and turning to the man and asked him what an Orlesian Tickler was. Zevran had snorted into his ale cup with that one.

He spent the rest of the evening nursing a mug of ale and just settling in. After a while he noticed the huge Qunari paying more and more attention to him, until at last he heaved himself up and walked towards Zevran’s corner.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you before, friend.” He pulled a chair over and plonked himself down, well and truly comfortable in his surroundings with the people around him. Zevran gave him his most charming smile.

“A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met before, no?” He asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Maybe. Depends on what the stranger is looking for.”

“Nothing nefarious, I assure you, my large horned friend. I am, curious. That is all.” He paused. “You are The Iron Bull, leader of The Chargers, yes? I have heard tales in Nevarra and Antiva about you.”

“I am. And who are you?” Iron Bull stared at the man, trying to get a read on the handsome elf in front of him, but sadly, the man gave little away.

“I am but a crow, searching for my nest.” Zevran decided to not share his name, he was a wanted man after all, and he wasn’t sure who to trust as yet – and it saddened him that he felt he couldn’t add his beautiful Leliana to that group yet.

“An Antivan crow huh? Explains the tattoos. You are certainly a long way from home.”

Outside the watch called out the midnight hour, and Zevran gracefully stood.

“I am sure we will get to know each other well soon, my large friend. But, for now. I have a meeting to attend.” He glided out of the tavern and had climbed up onto its roof before the Qunari made it out the door.

“Damn! He’s a quick bastard. Suppose I’d better go tell Red we’ve got a Crow in our midst.” He grumbled.

“Don’t worry The Iron Bull. He loves her. He’s here for her.” Coles clear voice sounded from next to the Qunari.

“Oh… that’s him huh?” He made a harrumphing sound. “Didn’t know Sol liked ‘em pretty! I should have been a shoo-in!” Zevran smirked and began to move silently over the rooftops towards his goal, his eyes now squarely on his target. It was past time.

***

The climb up the side of her tower was not easy, but he’d faced worse. It had been a little difficult when he reached the top because he had not anticipated her standing there looking over the fortress, her little face was wreathed in shadow. He had moved to the other side of the tower and carefully climbed over the balustrade and into the shadows to watch her.

Her hair was down now and reached the top of her generous hips, her arms were crossed under her breasts and he felt himself salivate at the idea of seeing them without her shirt. But, mostly, he was just content to watch her as she watched the sky. After a time, she sighed and went back into the tower and he moved to watch what she was doing next and nearly bit his tongue in half.

Leaving a trail of clothes behind her, he saw her run her hands up her body as she gave a distinctively feline-like stretch. He admired her adult form and made the adjustments in his head. He’d always seen her as tiny, young, slender and small breasted in his head. Now she was all rounded edges, long lines and soft skin. Hmmmmm. His favourite. The Gods were shining on him this day. He felt a bit creepy watching from the shadows, but his nerves were getting the better of him. He wasn’t sure how to approach her, only that he wanted to be alone with her when it happened.

He watched her pull on a soft-looking, green coloured nightdress that slid down her curves and settled around her ankles before she blew out most of the candles and climbed into the giant bed. She tossed and turned for a moment, then picked up a book and started to read. However, within minutes the book had fallen to the mattress, and she was sound asleep. Taking that as a sign, he crept into the room and watched her sleep for a few minutes, his heart racing in his chest. She moved suddenly and an arm reached out towards him, his name leaving her lips on a soft sigh, and he could no longer keep himself away. Bending down he untied and took off his boots, the very boots she had given him all those years ago and dropped his cloak to the floor. Placing one of his daggers under the closest pillows and the others on the side table next to him, he climbed on to the bed and under the covers, lying as close to her as he could without waking her, taking her stretched out hand into his own. She made soft little sounds in her sleep and he finally gave into temptation and reached out to softly run his fingers over her cheek. This close she smelt like vanilla and jasmine and the underlying smell of Solona that he had loved so much.

“_Mi amor_… my darling…” He breathed, waiting for her eyes to open. And they did, slowly and sleepily blinking at him. She smiled at him and reached out her hand to touch his cheek in return.

“Zevran…” She ran her fingers up his cheek and over his ear and then pulled him close, her lips covering his own in a kiss, so full of love and devotion that his eyes filled with tears. He took control of the kiss, gently pushing her onto her back and leaning over her as his tongue stroked along the seam of her lips. As the kiss ended, he rested his forehead on hers, amber eyes peering down into beautiful sapphire blue and they smiled at each other.

“I love you.” They both whispered at the same time, gently touching their lips together again. He settled down at her side again, and pulled her into his chest, tucking her head under his chin. Their arms encircled each other, and their legs twisted together as they nestled against one another as they had always meant to. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead, he pressed a finger against her lips and kissed the top of her head.

“It can wait until morning, _mi amor_. Tonight, just let me hold you.” She nodded and settled against him further, her eyes closing again. He smiled into the darkness and let himself relax for the first time in years, knowing that he had finally found his lost warden, and no matter what happened, they would never be parted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, so my Zevran is a lot older than the DAO character, he knows what he wants, and he knows it Solona. There won't be any prevaricating, or emotional angst between the two of them really beyond the next chapter. I would say this is Free-form Zevran, and he has no problems with expressing what he thinks or likes. His entire goal is to be with his warden from now until the day they walk through the veil.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, and subscriptions make me really happy :) So thank you, so so much :)


	9. Good Morning... forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, here there be smut. Probably badly written smut, that I may or may not regret writing later. It's definitely NSFW. In fact, if you like close your eyes and pretend this didn't happen. Only, it's going to happen again... because Zevran.

A feather-light touch ghosted down her nose and across her lips. She frowned a bit and snuggled further into the comfortable heat beside her, sighing in contentment. The touch moved to the corner of her mouth and up over her cheek, then across her forehead. She made a little displeased noise in the back of her throat and squeezed her eyes tightly together. Soft laughter filled her ears and a pair of warm lips kissed the end of her nose. She breathed in deeply and smelt scents she hadn’t smelt in a decade… warm, antivan armour oils, citrus and most of all… him.

“Even after all these years, you still don’t like mornings, my lovely warden?” His thickly accented voice slid over her skin, and she cracked open an eye to look towards him.

“Zevran…” She breathed, bringing her hand up to cup his face.

“Solona, _mi amor_.” He smiled at her and brought his lips to hers. She sighed against his lips and leant into the kiss, opening her mouth as his tongue slid across the seam of her lips. They both groaned as their tongues moved together, their bodies pressing against each other tightly. Zevran made a soft growl in the back of his throat and then broke the kiss to move back to lie next to her, his head on her pillow. She reached up and ran her fingers through the long hair at his temple, her eyes questioning and more than a bit nervous. As they stared at each other, tears began to fill her eyes, and her chin began to quiver, shame filling her as he continued to look at her like she was some great treasure.

“I’m so sorry.” Her face crumbled and she buried her face into her pillow, shoulders shaking as she began to sob, her guilt overwhelming her at his peaceful and happy expression.

Within moments, Zevran was sitting up and had pulled her into his lap.

“_Mi amor_… shhhhh. Beautiful one, this is not necessary.” He crooned to her, sliding his hands up and down her back as she buried her face in his neck and sobbed.

“How can you say that Zevran? I ran away and I hid from you… for 10 years!” Her small hand reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt as she confessed to him between ragged sobs, her body crowding his as she shuddered in soul-deep misery.

“Yes, you did.” He kissed the top of her head. “But maybe it just wasn’t the right time for us then. We had too much to learn, so when we were together again, we could just be together.” He moved them both backwards until he could lean back amongst the pillows and against the headboard of the overly decorative Orlesian headboard.

She moved her head and looked at him through red-rimmed green eyes, tears still hanging in her lashes. “Do you really think that?” She breathed, bringing her shaky hand up to cover his tattooed cheek.

“Yes, _mi amor_, I do. These years apart taught me many things. But most importantly…” He broke off and lifted his hand to wipe the tears in her eyes with his thumb tenderly. “It taught me that I loved you, unconditionally and forever.” She gasped her eyes wide in surprise. “And, I wish I had told you all those years ago, instead of driving you into Alistair’s arms. Our lives would have been so much more together.”

Solona sniffled and rested her head on his shoulder, drawing in the new, but familiar scent of him. “I think that is why I ran.” Her voice was soft and her breath warm on the golden skin of his neck. He brought his hand up to run his fingers through her hair. “I suddenly realised that I had stronger feelings for you than I did for Alistair, but I was still hurt by his callous dismissal of everything we’d been together. I was faced with the knowledge that I’d made the wrong choice in partner.” She sighed. “I was so young and so stupid.” She tilted her face up and kissed him on the underside of his jaw and smiled a little when he made a little growly sound in the back on his throat. “Then after a while, I felt stupid for running. Embarrassed. Horrified. So, I stayed away. The longer I was away, the more it became impossible to return. At least to me. I shoved what I felt for you, far down as I could, and I wandered Thedas. But... I love you, with everything that I am.”

She reached up to kiss his jawline against and squeaked when he quickly moved his head to capture her lips with his own instead, his tongue pressing into her open mouth and stroking against hers. She made a tiny sound in the back of her throat, and thrust her fingers through the hair at the back of his head and deepened the kiss, revelling in the taste of him and the slide of his fingers against the smooth skin on her back. She broke the kiss, gasping slightly for air and made the same soft, tiny noise as he began to kiss down the line of her throat to her shoulder.

“Mmmm…. Zevran… I am supposed to be explaining…” He sucked lightly on the curve between her neck and shoulder.

“Later _amor…_” He breathed against her skin. “I need to touch you more. I’ve waited so long.” He lightly bit where he had just sucked, and she shivered against him.

Zevran gently pushed her off his lap and lay her down against the piles of cushions on the bed and looked down at her. Her emerald green eyes were blown wide with anticipation, and her cheeks covered in a light rosy blush. He felt his heart race a little faster as she lay back, her expression inviting as she played with the shoulder strap of the nightgown she wore. He knew his own face would show his own feelings, with her he would hide nothing and show her everything. He needed her to know how much he loved and revered her. She was his. He was hers. It was just that simple. The past was the past, and now, they just needed to move forward, together.

Keeping his eyes locked to hers, he began to quickly unlace the front of his shirt before hurriedly pulling the soft linen over his head and dropping it to the floor. He gave a smirk when her fingers slid down the tattoos on the side of his chest, a smirk she returned tenfold. Still moving slowly, he moved over her, her legs parting to allow him to settle between her thighs and he rested above her on his arms, even as hers slid over his shoulders and she tangled her fingers in his hair there.

“Solona…” He whispered, dipping down to softly kiss her lips before coming back up onto his arms. He was asking this first time. He needed to feel her against him, he needed to be inside her almost more than he needed to breathe. His hips pressed into her heat insistently, a low groan echoing through his chest as he teased them both with the feel of his growing hardness. “It’s been too long,_ amor_…”

Solona looked up at him, seeing his pupils dilate and feeling the insistent push of his hardness into her answering softness. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and then reached up to shove the nightgown straps off her shoulders, baring her breasts to his heated look, and lifted one leg to hook around his thigh, pulling him closer to her heat.

“Please… Zev…” She pulled her arms out of the straps just as he moved and lay his full weight on her, his mouth covering hers completely, tongue stroking and exploring her mouth even as his hips mimicked the movements. She stopped thinking at the sensuous slide of his warm skin against hers and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, trying hard to get as close to him as possible. He made a soft rumble against her lips, before breaking the kiss and resuming the heated slide of his lips down across her chin and the column of her neck.

She pressed her chest up into his as he moved to the side slightly, and his hands moved to trace of the curves of her breast, his brown fingers contrasting to the pale whiteness of her own skin. “Please... touch me.” She whispered as her fingers slid down his back to the edge of his leather pants, then back up, lightly dragging her nails over his sensitive skin. He gasped against her throat and pushed hard against her for a moment, his movements and touches losing their finesse and gentleness as his body caught on fire at the feel of her in his arms and against his body.

Moving fast, he angled himself against her side and gripped the nightgown in his hand, shoving it roughly down past her hips and thighs and sliding his fingers against her wet heat. “Zevran!” She called out, uncaring about how loud she was, her mind falling deeper into her pleasure as his fingers slid into the wet haven of her body and his lips moved to suck the rose-coloured nipple closest to him. He groaned against her skin, delighting in the feeling of her within his mouth and the feel of her warmth against his moving fingers. He stroked over her flesh in quick, sharp movements, sliding his fingers around the delicate pearl between the slick lips of her sex. Usually, he would take his time, stroking her body to release after release before joining her, but he found he was just too impatient to touch her, to feel the wet tightness of her around his eager cock. He knew they would come together, time after time, so did not feel like his intense desire to couple with her detracted from this long-awaited moment. She obviously felt the same way, her breath coming in heated pants, and her hips moving in tandem with the delicate stroke of his fingers.

So caught up in the feel of her between his lips and beneath his fingers, he didn’t initially notice her small fingers pulling the laces of his leathers loose. When her cool fingers stroked along his hard length he cried out in shocked pleasure, his hips pushing himself into her fingers, even as he let go of her nipple to slam his mouth back down to hers, groaning into her.

Solona gasped into his mouth, and began to pull roughly at his hips, desperately trying to bring him over and into her. Zevran came up and over her, hands braced on either side of her head as her hand moved between their legs and took him in hand again, bringing him into the centre of her heated centre. He flexed his hips a few times, running the tip of himself through the silky wetness he found there. Leaning down and burying his face into her neck, he pushed the tip into her and groaned as the tight, wet heat of her pulled him further in.

“_Amor_!” He groaned into her skin and thrust all the way into her.

“Maker! Zevran!” Solona legs came up automatically around his buttocks as he completed hilted himself inside her. Her core rippled along the length of him as he began moving within her, his hands moving down to bring both her legs over his shoulders, allowing him to move deeper within her.

Rising to his knees, be remained bent over her, his hips pistoning against hers and his mouth hot on her neck as he bit and licked at the sensitive skin there. One of her hands shoved through the long golden strands at the back of his head, holding him closer, whilst the other reached down to grasp his forearm in a desperate attempt to remained anchored into the world. She gave herself up to the sensation, her voice getting louder and louder with each pounding thrust he made into her. His voice rose to match hers, his groans echoing around the room as his hips began to stutter, the rhythm uneven as they both reached their peak.

Screaming, Solona’s body arched against his, her muscles tight as she tumbled over the edge, her body milking his in the fury of her orgasm. Her body tightened so much, he was not given a choice before he followed her, his thick seed shooting into her core even as he yelled his completion against her throat. Half dazed, Solona collapsed back on the bed, her chest heaving, and her eyes closed, her legs sliding off his shoulders to rest on either side of his collapsed form. She tightened her arms around him and sluggishly moved her legs to twine with his, keeping his sweat slicked form against her. He rolled them both over, his hands sliding up and down her back and hips and her face pressed into the glistening skin of his shoulder. She shoved her mass of hair back over her shoulder and smiled at him sleepily.

“Mmmm… not how I planned this…” She kissed his throat and smiled when he pressed his lips against her forehead, one hand coming up to run his fingers through the blonde curls wreathing her head.

He chuckled. “This was the only option, _mi amor_. I have waited too long to have you.”

“Oh?” She crooked an eyebrow at him, very well aware of his past. Zevran gave her a gentle smile, their legs still intertwined, their hands softly stroking. He raised himself upon his right forearm and looked down on her beautiful, flushed face.

“Yes, _mi tesoro_, I have been with no others since that night in Denerim.” He looked down at her shocked face and leant down to kiss the tip her nose. “Hard to believe maybe, but it is the truth. After that night… I knew you were the only one for me. Forever.” His voice was soft but heartfelt and she felt the truth in it. Her eyes clouded with tears again and he moved swiftly to kiss them away.

“_Mi bella_, no tears. I meant it. The past is done with. Now, we move forward together and learn about each other again. All is forgiven. I swear on the Maker.” He moved back, his beautiful amber eyes capturing her emerald green ones.

She blinked rapidly and gave him a tremulous smile. “Together.”

“_Si, amor._ Together.”


	10. Running away... together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when royalty comes calling and you don't want to face him? You run away of course. Only this time, Solona is taking Zevran with her as she races (literally) off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I am a day late. Horrible migraine has kept me hiding in the dark, not to mention the heat and the thick smoke from all the fires that are around here in Aus. Ugh.
> 
> 02/09/2020 - Now with art!! I commissioned the lovely @oh-so-youre-a-nerd on Tumblr and www.instagram.com/ascindio Truly a wonderful and friendly person and artist :)

Leliana’s POV

Leliana stood in the middle of The Herald’s Rest and looked around. Snuggled against each other in Bull’s usual corner were Bull and Dorian, chatting and kissing on and off. Interesting, she thought as she continued to scan the room. Varric, Krem and Cole were sitting together playing Wicked Grace, and surprisingly, Cassandra was seated in a corner near the fire reading. Cullen and Vivienne were missing from this almost homey scene, but their presences here were not likely to start with.

Sighing, she started to turn around, why she expected Solona to be here was beyond her. Varric spoke up, and his voice was quickly smothered by giggles from Hawke. “She’s not here, Nightingale. Haven’t seen her for two days.”

Bull’s slightly lascivious voice called out from across the room. “I’ve heard her though… him too. Damn, they’re loud! I’ve learnt some interesting Antivan words. Maybe you should tell them that her balcony isn’t private either. He has those tattoos all over.” The rest of the group at the tables broke into guffaws and Leli gave a slight smile. Deep inside, she was so pleased for her two friends, which made what she had to tell them harder. Josie had voluntold her to do it, not wanting to risk the ire of a woman she was just starting to get to know. Leli was sure that Solona would be grateful for the warning, but Zevran wasn’t pleased with her right now, though she hoped to rectify that soon.

Walking out of the tavern door, she quickly walked across the courtyard, looking up at the Herald’s tower, from which she could see candlelight glowing forth and the vague sound of laughter and giggling. Walking back into the great hall, she ignored the various scout greetings and moved towards the door that led to the tower. Slipping inside she hurried up the stairs, only to pause outside the door, pressing her ear against the thick wood in an attempt to hear what was happening inside. From inside she could hear singing, an Antivan tavern song that she recognised from her youth, mixed with the sound of moving footsteps and giggles. Placing her head against the cool wood for a moment, she took a deep breath and summoned her most stoic expression before knocking.

The singing stopped and she heard two sets of footsteps approaching, along with a whispered conversation as they drew nearer.

“Zev, I can answer the door by myself.” There was a low masculine response and then a light crash against the door and then a light feminine moan. Rolling her eyes, Leliana knocked again, not wanting to bear witness to whatever was going on, on the other side of the door. There were some whispers, and a squeal before she heard the lock turn and Sol was looking at her impishly through the crack in the door.

“Hi Leli, what can I do for you, so late in the evening?” Zevran’s face came into view, and he looked at her with cool amber eyes, even as he pressed kisses into the curve of Solona’s neck, and Leliana could see his arms wound around her waist possessively.

“Inquisitor, it is my duty to inform you that King Alistair’s retinue was sighted near the ruins of Haven this morning. The scouts said the snow is deep, delaying them somewhat, but they feel that he will be here before nightfall tomorrow.” Leliana watched the consternation come across Solona’s fine features.

Solona blinked and muttered an “Excuse us for a moment please” before quietly closing the door. There was a quick conversation, which ended with a succinct “I go where you go, _amor_.” Before the door opened, completely this time. Gone was the relaxed, smiling Solona, in her place was the Inquisitor, who gestured Leliana in and up the stairs. Zevran gave her a friendly enough smile and closed the door, before slipping past her and up the stairs back to Solona’s side. Leliana looked around the room and kept her smirk to herself. The room was a mess, there were food trays on a few different surfaces, whilst others were suspiciously clear of times and sitting at strange angles against the wall.

“Extend King Alistair and his party every courtesy. Make sure Josie puts Plan Theirin into action. Please tell Dorian and Bull that we will be departing within the hour. We are going to go and meet Hawke’s contact in Crestwood and see if we can’t fix this undead problem.” Solona started moving around the room, stuffing clothes into one pack and other items into another. Zevran mimicking her actions, but both stopping occasionally to touch the other, moving in tandem as they hurriedly packed up their belongings. “Cass also sent word of a wyvern that needs removing, and I did promise Bull to go dragon hunting. So, we will probably be away for two weeks at least. I will send Solas, Cass, Blackwall and Sera back here to assist as soon as we arrive, and Harding. I want her to go out and investigate the rumours you mentioned in the Western Approach.” Having completed her packing, Solona negligently shrugged her shoulders and the light robe she wore fell to the floor as she walked naked to her chest of drawers.

Leliana let the smirk cross her face at the groaning hiss Zevran made when he turned to discover her naked, and she turned as his hand moved to the laces at the waist of his breeches. Neither Zevran or Solona had ever really had any consideration for anyone else around them, though Leliana would prefer not to watch what she knew was going to happen next. Instead, she dipped her head towards the woman rifling through her clothing drawers, and said: “Yes, Inquisitor.” Before heading back down the stairs. Even before she had reached the door however, there came the tell-tale sounds of pleasure, breathy moans and groans and the rhythmic knocking of furniture into a wall.

Zevran’s POV

“Mmm, _amor_… the thing you do to my leathers…” He admired her as they walked down the stairs towards the stables. She grinned back at him, pulling her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head.

“What can I say Zev? I like the feeling of your leathers on my skin.” She ran her hands down over her hips and put bit more of wiggle into the sway of her hips as she reached the darkened market stalls and giggled when he almost tripped over a rock. Recovering fast, he ran up behind her and grabbed her into his arms, twisting and throwing her over his shoulder. She shrieked and squirmed and then squealed when he gave her buttocks a firm smack. A cocky grin covered his face as he strode towards the stables, where he could see the large Qunari and the moustachioed pretty man watching their antics, grinning.

“Upside down looks good on you, Boss!” The big one called as they drew near. Solona gave a squeak of rage when Zevran’s hand smacked her bum again, then gave in a slight squeeze before stopping in front of the other two men. Gently bringing her off his shoulders, he stood her in front of himself and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her in a gentle, yet possessive embrace. Now that she was so close, he couldn’t bear to part from her. Whilst he gazed at the men in front of him with an open and friendly look, he was still somewhat stunned that the woman in his arms was his. He swallowed against the hard lump of emotions that rose in his throat, and tightened his arms a little more, kissing her neck when she rested on hand on his forearm for a moment.

“Bull, Dor, this is Zevran Arainai, assassin, ex-crow, companion and mine." She turned her head to smile up at him. He smiled back and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Zev, these are two of my favourite people, Dorian and Iron Bull.” She pulled herself out of his arms and grabbed his hand, pulling her towards the two. Zevran watched them as they approached and smiled in approval when he saw the way they both looked at her. From their expressions he knew they both cared for the small woman, so he decided that he could be more open with them both. He extended his free hand and shook theirs firmly.

“Thank you for taking care of _mi amor_. Whilst I wasn’t able too.” He stepped to her side and she leaned against him, squeezing his hand lightly in her own.

“Oh, it wasn’t hard watching such a fine a- ooof!” Bull groaned as Dorian elbowed him in the stomach.

“Not a problem… but don’t think just because you are here now, means that we will stop doing so.” He finished, turning his head to look down at the smaller mage standing by his side. Dorian gave him a slight smile in response.

“Yes, quite. If someone offs her, who would I drink and bitch about others with?” Dorian gave Zevran and smile as he walked up to Solona and gave her an over the shoulder hug. “I’ve missed you, Amata.” He kissed her cheek and walked towards the front gates and the waiting figure of Cullen, pulling both his and Bull’s horses.

Bull gave them both a smile and started to follow the smaller man, before turning back to Solona. “You might want to spend some time with the Big Guy. He won’t say it, but I think he’s worried things will change between you two now.” He gave them both a pointed look, and hurried after the retreating mage, deliberately asking whether the snake designs were hidden phallic symbols on his dress.  
  
“It’s a robe, you barbarian!” Dorian’s howl of outrage made Solona grin.

Zevran let go of her hand and moved to his horse, quickly outfitting his, as she did the same to her own. The ornery beast stood there glaring at him, even going so far as to bare his teeth at him.

“Rainy, be nice.” She murmured, tapping him on the nose, before slinging her packs over his back. The horse nickered at her and moved to nibble on the top of her bun. Shaking his head, Zevran completed the same on his own, much more placid horse, before moving to stand beside her, helping her up into her saddle.

“_Amor,_ the way you grasp his back with your thighs. Maybe I should ride him with you. It would be a delight.” He gave her a salacious grin and ran his hand up her thigh.

“My love, if we weren’t running away to hide from the King of Fereldan, I’d let you share my saddle any time.” She grinned back down at him. She leant over and gripped his chin in her small hand, and he had to work hard at not closing his eyes at the wonderful feeling of her skin against him. He raised himself slightly, and pressed his lips to hers, savouring the soft feel of them as they moved together.

“Oi! Boss! I thought we had to get to Crestwood, yesterday!?” Came a shout from the front gate. Zevran broke the kiss and turned towards Bull and flipped him off, giving him a lazy grin at the same time. Bull’s booming laughter echoed off the quiet walls.

Once they were both mounted, they moved towards the other men, Solona moving in front of them and speaking quietly to Commander Cullen for a moment. He saw him give her a small wrapped package and watched as his love squeaked in delight and shove it into a saddlebag. Zevran narrowed his eyes at him and gave the man an assessing glare. Cullen blushed deeply and stepped aside, and Zevran snorted dismissively. For now.

“Keep him occupied Cullen, and make sure Skyhold doesn’t burn down whilst I am gone.” She grinned at him and turned in the saddle to look at her companions.  
  
“I’ll race you to Fereldan? Last one there had kitchen duties for the entire trip!” Laughing out loud, her great beast of a horse launched out across the causeway towards the path down the mountains.

“Never, ever serious.” He heard the blond man mutter under his breath.

Zevran looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “Yes, she is. She is more serious than death, with the weight of the world on her shoulders. We can allow her these little delights.” Spurring his horse forward, he cantered after his love, listening to Dorian and Bull yelling about her being a cheat. He laughed, and joined in the calling, delighting in the sound of her merry laughter.

Alistair POV

The Frostbacks were freezing. What had possessed him to ride out of Denerim to travel to Orlais when winter was almost on their doorstep. Solona was why. He’d been shocked to see her in Redcliffe, and even more shocked when she had barely acknowledged him and sailed from the room. She had also failed to respond to any of the letters he had sent since he had seen her. Elissa had worried herself sick that she would be put aside in favour of Solona, but Alistair had made it clear that he loved her, loved their family and only wanted to ask Solona for forgiveness.

After they were bogged down outside of Haven, and he had added a wreath to the newly built memorial there, he, Teagan and the rest of his cohort had decided to press on to Skyrim that night, knowing that Inquisition scouts would let the right people know that he would be arriving sooner than expected. He’d give them orders to not rouse Solona, preferring to ask Leliana to mediate their first meeting.

Towards midnight, his own scout reported that they were nearing Skyhold and that riders were approaching fast. Within moments he heard the hammering of hooves and gave orders to his men to pull off the road. Seconds later, a female rider rounded the corner, a blue light shining above her head, making her golden hair glow with its ethereal light.

Solona.

She looked at the party of travel-stained men, and quirked an eyebrow at him, her face wreathed in a huge grin.

“Hi, Alistair!” She called cheekily as she thundered past him, her massive horse churning the snow as it ran at an almost dead run and disappeared around the forest corner. Moments later three men appeared, chasing after her. A huge Qunari, a fashionably dressed mage, and…. Zevran?

The elf gave him a cocky grin and a two-finger salute as they all raced by.

“Bye Alistair!” He called, before turning back in his saddle and pulling ahead of the other riders in his group. As they disappeared around the corner, Alistair heard “_Amor! _Never underestimate the skills of an Antivan in a race!”

Alistair turned to Teagan.

“Well, at least we know Leliana’s ravens and scouts are still efficient. There goes the Inquisitor.” Despite the frustration of the situation, of the fact that the entire reason for making this Maker damned trip was disappearing down the mountain, Alistair started laughing. “I hope she never changes. C’mon. It’s fucking cold, and at least we know we don’t have to get up early tomorrow.” Shaking his head, the party returned to the road and toward their destination.


	11. Interlude I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran and Bull have a conversation and Zevran sees Solona in action against a fade rift for the first time as they head towards Crestwood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with a picture! I love it so much - that's why this week's edition is early... I just couldn't wait to share!

It was early morning. The camp was quiet, though he was pretty sure Cole was awake and on watch somewhere close by. It was quiet and he was so comfortable. He moved his free arm behind his head and sighed in contentment. His smile grew wider as Solona nuzzled into his neck further and her arm sleepily moved across his chest, stopping when her hand cupped his neck. He moved his head to looked down at her and stifled a laugh. Solona’s wild curly hair had escaped the bun on top of her head and was covering most of her face. He could only see her nose, chin and her full, red lips. Lips that were still swollen from his kisses during the previous night. She also had the covers pulled up to her ears and her legs were securely wrapped around his, both delighting in his company and probably stealing as much warmth from him as she could. He didn’t blame her. Crestwood was cold AND wet.

He began sliding the hand under the covers gently up and down her back, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin against the palm of his hand. Her curves were a constant delight, and something he was going to enjoy for the rest of their days. He loved all shapes of women, but his warden, with her wide hips, rounded belly and thighs was a constant wonder. He loved tickling her, stroking his fingertips down her flanks or grasping handfuls of her as he pulled her close. She felt so soft against him. She felt like everything he had dreamed and wished for but had not imagined he would want. He tightened the arm around her and pulled her closer, relishing the feeling of her thigh moving over his, her stomach pressing into his hips and her breasts pushing up over the sensitive skin of his chest. He couldn’t resist stroking her hair away gently from her face with his free hand, no more than he could stop himself from pressing a kiss to the centre of her forehead and just breathing her in. Knowing she was safe and in his care made his heart swell with his enduring, and protective love.

***

Yesterday had been a shock to his system. Solona had won the race to Fereldan by half a horse length over Iron Bull, sho had attempted to pull her from her horse when the first Fereldan Inn had come into view, just so he could win. She had done a victory lap around the three men, waving her hands above her head as she crowed at Dorian about cooking AND cleaning for the entire trip. Dorian had taken her teasing good-naturedly, though the expression on his face had said there would be repercussions. Zevran had personally loved seeing Solona so carefree. Bull had just sat on his beast of a horse and watched her antics before turning to Zevran and smiled at him.

“It’s good to see her like this. She deserves it.” Zevran smiled but continued to watch his love cheerfully tease Dorian, asking whether he’d make Paella for dinner or whether he had a menu she could choose from.

“She used to be like this all the time.” Zevran observed. “She never let anything get her down. She took to being out of the tower with such delight and took all of us under her wing.” He laughed. “Even Morrigan and Shale fell under her spell.”

Bull looked at him. “What changed her then? I mean I’ve heard rumours, but from your point of view what happened?”

“Alistair and me, I assume.” Zevran pushed his long hair back over his shoulder and kept a careful eye on Sol as she dismounted her horse and gave the stunned Altus in front of her a hug. One he awkwardly returned, smiling softly.

“I was attracted to her from the beginning. Skinny little thing that she was. All legs and hair. She was fascinating and was fascinated. She’d ask question after question about being a Crow, about Antiva and about what I thought. She cared what my opinion was.” He laughed self-deprecatingly. “She was the scariest thing I’d ever met. So, when things got more intense, I decided it would be better if she fell for Alistair, rather than myself. I encouraged it.” Solona and Dorian disappeared inside the Inn, so he and Bull dismounted and gave their mounts to the patient stable boy.

“It worked. They fell for each other. It broke my heart. Solona being Solona kept up our friendship though. She asked me to train her with daggers because she wanted to be prepared for anything. She shared her fears with me when we went to Denerim, she was terrified. She cried the night before the battle and fell asleep in my arms. And I knew I loved her. Despite everything my training had taught me.” They both moved through the door into the inn’s interior, finding Dorian and Solona laughing in a booth under a sunny window.

“After she killed the archdemon she was exhausted. She’d used so much magic, but it was something more. She was soul tired. Then Alistair told her he couldn’t marry her because she was a mage, and she caught him in the gardens with the Cousland girl. We slept together that night, I’d never been so happy, my friend. But she was gone in the morning. Disappeared. I only knew of her from Wynne. I’d visit her at the tower sometimes. I knew she was alive, but Wynne refused to tell me where. She just said that Sol had changed.” Zevran laughed suddenly.

“She has definitely changed. So many curves, yes? Mmmm Mmmm!” he grinned at Bull lasciviously. “And ALLLLLLLL mine.” He made a purring noise in the back of his throat and hurried across the crowed Inn dining room to Solona’s side, kissing up the side of her neck as he snuggled in next to her on the bench seat. Bull filed the information away and smiled benignly as he moved towards the group, calling out to the innkeeper to keep the drinks coming.

After their lunch, they had continued their ride to Crestwood. The sky had clouded over, and the rain had begun. Zevran had ridden next to Solona and enjoyed chatting back and forth with her, holding her hand in his and teasing her softly. He was fascinated by the mark on her palm, had been since his return and he knew she felt grateful that unlike with the others, he was not scared of it.

One moment they had been chatting quietly, and the next she had hissed in a breath and launched herself off her horse, running towards a small hamlet at the bottom of the hill, calling out for them all to follow her. He’d been a little put off when Cole had appeared out of nowhere and followed both men down the path towards her. She had run faster than he’d ever seen her do in the past, and he had to race hard to catch up with her. She’d smiled at him tightly and then looked ahead.

“There! The rip will open there! Fan out!” She started running again as a large cracking sound echoed over the area and a green tear ripped through the sky.

“Maker!” Zevran swore before running after her, pulling his blades from their holsters.

“Let her do her thing, Zevran!” Dorian caught the back of his belt. “If you get in front of her, you will get hurt. Go to the right. Help Cole.” He pointed to Cole who was creeping through the grass towards a floating green demon. Keeping on eye on Solona, he flew towards the beast and heard Bull’s war whoops seconds after Solona disappeared from view.

“Oh yeah! Come get some!!”

Cole and he worked together, killing the demon that spawned around the edge of the fight, all the while he kept an eye on his love, fear making his heart beat faster. When the demons around them disappeared, he turned and raced towards the centre, where Solona, Bull and Dorian had engaged with a huge rage demon. Zevran could not keep Solona in view, she fade stepped from side to side, firing shards of ice at the monster with deadly accuracy. Once the demon slithered back into the ground, Zevran began to move towards her, wanting to check her for injuries, his heart caught in his throat.

“No… it’s not time. Wait. Glowing, pulsing. If it doesn’t close, the world will die.” Cole put his hand on Zevran’s arm. “Watch. Understand.” He pointed towards the centre of the field, where Bull and Dorian were standing behind Solona. Dorian turned and gestured him over, and Zevran move to stand beside him.

Taking a deep breath, Solona trust her left hand into the air, sending streams of green light towards the fade rift in the sky. Adjusting her stance slightly, she then twisted her hand, grasping the strands and sharply yanked them sharply towards her and pulled the rift close. It shut with a loud detonation, leftover pieces of fade falling to the grass and disappearing.

Solona turned around and gave them a smile walking towards Zevran, her eyebrow raised as she looked at him. Zevran was overwhelmed, he’d never seen such strong magic, but he did remember the concern and fear he’d felt in the past when she put herself into danger. This was a whole new level of fear he felt for her. He smiled at her widely instead.

“_Mi amor!_ You are so sexy when you close rifts, yes? If we were alone, I would have to have you now.” He leered at her, and she placed her hands on her hips and threw her head back laughing.

“Don’t let us stop you.” Dorian called as he, Bull and Cole started walking towards the horses.

Solona grinned at him, coming close and kissing him on the lips. “Maybe later, hmmm?” She whispered to him before moving to join the others, and extra wiggle in her hips, intentionally teasing him. Zevran just laughed, feeling joy over the fear that had gripped him when he saw her engage with that demon.

Later as evening closed in, there was the gentle hum of conversation sat around the campfire, which was sheltered by an overhanging tree at their campsite. Dorian sat stirring dinner, whilst Bull sharpened the edge of his battle axe and Cole sat intently staring at a group of foraging nugs. Zevran had pulled Solona off into the trees close instead and wrapped his arms around her body, burying his face in her neck. She had wrapped an arm around his back and used the other to comb through his long blond hair.

“You scared me, _amor.” _He whispered, letting her see the fear he had hidden during the fade rift earlier that afternoon when she leant back to look at him.

His arms moved down lower to hold her around her waist, and she smiled softly up at him, reaching up to cup his cheek and move a few golden strands of hair behind his ear.

“This is my job, Zev. I am literally the only person in Thedas who can close the rifts.” She stepped closer and placed her arms behind his back, her green eyes looking up at him, and understanding smile on her lips.

“I know, _amor_. I wish it weren’t so, because I can’t lose you now. But, without them, I might never have found you again.” He leant down and covered her hips with his own, kissing her softly. “I love you, Solona. I might be scared for you, but I am also proud. Never doubt it.” She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beating.

“Good, because I don’t think I can finish this without you.” She mumbled. He just pulled her in tight and rested his head on hers, enjoying the quietness of the air and being alone with her.

***

Returning to himself, rather than his thoughts over the previous day, Zevran turned on his side and wrapped both arms around her. Yes, there was a lot happening, a lot of things were changing. But he felt like he was where he was supposed to be, with the woman he was supposed to be with. Hearing her light snuffly snore, he tucked himself in closer and closed his eyes. Yes. Definitely where he was supposed to be.

Many thanks to [PookyHuntress](https://pookyhuntress.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr for drawing this beautiful picture of Zev and Solona. I just love it!


	12. Silliness in Crestwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solona, Zevran, Dorian, Bull and Cole head towards Crestwood. Solona gets up to mischief.
> 
> Damn... I suck at summaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo! Now with art!! :) Grateful thanks to @wrdencmndr (Tumblr, Insta and twitter) for this... I love it so much!  
MOAR ART!! :) Grateful thanks to Schesta over here: https://www.facebook.com/Schesta95... I love Dorian and Bull so much! :)
> 
> Oooookies. I will apologise really quick for being so quiet, so long with this story. I lost my way a bit with it, then writer's block pounced and then I started full time social work masters and then dived headlong into depression when covid-19 hit.  
Soooo... here this chapter is. It's mostly fluff to be honest. And it's... short. But, it is the first non-academic thing I've written in months, and I do intend to finish this story. Sol and Zev for evers right?
> 
> Hopefully I'll update more frequently now... I am in the midst of my Social Work practicum (500 hours of hands on training, being done online), so there are hours where I am literally doing nothing or playing Animal Crossing... what a life hey?
> 
> Special thanks to @Vger who gave me a kick up the butt a few weeks ago. I know I promised a week, but... here it is now? **hands them internet chocolate chip cookies**

Sol looked down at her lover and giggled. He was dead asleep, mouth open and drool dribbling down the corner of his mouth. He’d have been horrified if he knew what he looked like in that moment, but to her, he looked like home. The home she had been too scared to look for so long. Outside she could hear Cole talking to the nugs, the soft footfalls of passing scouts and then the almost deafening roar of Bull’s snore and then the angry “KAFFAS!” as Dorian was once again woken from his beauty sleep.

Not even Bull’s snore had woken Zevran. He just slept on. She felt a bubble of mischief well up inside and quietly moved towards her pack, looking for Dorian’s spare kohl stick – he wanted to make sure he was never without – apparently that would be a “horrendous crime, darling!” Grinning she leant over her love and gently drew a very Dorian-esque moustache under his nose, a monocle around his right eye and a very wobbly star on his left cheek. Then in a finally act of silliness, drew a stick figure mabari on his chest and signed her name in large loopy letters.  
  


Proud of her “artwork” she tucked the kohl back into its little container and slowly began untwisting her legs from around his. Giggling at the frown that momentarily marred his brow, she stood and pulled on the leathers she had stolen from him the previous day, and then his shirt. What was his was hers now right? Feeling light-hearted despite the droning rain, she emerged from her tent and stood under the hastily erected awning the scouts had set up when their Inquisitor had arrived in camp unannounced.  
  
Dorian sat curled up under a blanket, his feet stretched towards the firepit, with a face like a thunder cloud.  
  
“Oh Dearest! Whatever is the matter? You know, scowling like that will give you lines.” She smirked at him before murmuring thanks to the scout who passed her a plate of breakfast.  
  
“Shut up, you.” Dorian poked his tongue out at her and pulled his blanket up and over his head. “Let’s go to Fereldan, you said. Let’s go to the wettest, shittiest part of Fereldan and bring Dorian! He’ll love it!” He gave her a disappointed glance. She just gave him a big cheerful, mouth full of bacon and eggs grin. He shuddered.

“I brought you because I love you, because I need you at my side and because there are zombies and they make my toes curl in terror.” He looked partially mollified by the first part of her statement and then gave her a reluctant grin at the mention of zombies.

“I particularly like the ones with out legs… or ever lower bodies. I mean, Maker love ‘em, look at them still trying to be scary and get us!” He sighed happily.

“Err… hello, Mr. Necromancer, half-missing, ground crawling zombies are the worst. I want to run away, not go up to it and say ‘I’m sorry… but is this your duodenum? You left it over there.’” She shuddered.  
  
“Well, we all get our jollies how we must, my love. Isn’t that right?” He raised an eyebrow at her and reached his hand out of his blanket to take the offered plate from the returned scout.

“I guess. I’d rather get my jollies at the wicked grace table or stealing Solas’s treats. Wanting to dissect a moving dead thing, is not even close to my list of things I want to do.”  
  
“Now, we all know that not just where you get your jollies, Boss.” Bull’s rumbly voice broke across the campfire as he pushed out of the tent he shared with Dorian. “Damn, but he’s a loud one.” Solona gave Bull a big grin, this time without the food she’d all but shown Dorian and a thumbs up with her free hand.

Dorian gave her a look out of the corner of his eye and then snuggled into Bull when he sat next to him on the log. “He was not alone with the noises he was making. I didn’t know you spoke Antivan, darling? Quite fluently too. My ears are still blushing.” Solona’s face suddenly burnt red and she choked on her piece of fried bread.  
  
“Ah… yes, _mi amor_ sings like an angel when her Zevran strokes her body. It is an instrument that only he can play to perfection.” The tent flaps opened, and her love stepped through, clad in only a pair of unbuttoned leather breeches and nothing else. His eyes were warm as they met hers, and he smiled at her. Sol gulped the last of her food down and put her plate on the ground. He obviously had not noticed her artwork as yet, but she knew what would happen once he did. She gave him a cheery smile and then blew him a kiss.  
  
“Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?” She asked, the innocent tone ringing false in her ear. Opposite her, Bull and Dorian and finished their morning hellos to each other, which involved a lot of tongue as far as Solona could tell and turned their heads to greet their newest companion. Both of their mouths fell open as they took in the elf standing before them. Zevran himself was just raking his glances over Solona, his eyes heated, so he failed to notice their expressions.

Dorian broke first.

“Er… nice tattoo there, Zevran… I especially like the ones on your face.” Zevran preened, and stood a littler taller, showing off his art. She heard Bull snort in amusement into Dorian’s neck.  
  
“Thank you, my friend. They are a memento from the Crows… designed to emphasise my body. They are delightful, no?” Zev pushed his hair away from his face and struck a pose that would have been downright sexy… if it wasn’t for the slightly smudged moustache, the monocle and the mabari decorating him. Solona got slowly to her feet and began to inch towards the awning’s edge and freedom.  
  
Bull coughed. “Why yes, that stick figure mabari and the handlebar moustache tattoo you have are a real turn on.” Zevran’s eyes widened and he turned towards Bull’s shiny belt, which was draped over a tree branch at just the right height to use as a mirror.  
  
“Oh… well… look at the sun… I really should go and er… wash up.” Solona giggled and ran barefoot out into the rain.

“Brasca! Solona! Come back here!” The scouts standing around their own fire laughed when they saw their barefoot herald hightailing it through the camp giggling, and the mostly naked elf chasing her. Back under the awning, Dorian looked up at Bull.  
  
“It’s good to see her like this, don’t you think Amatus?” Bull smiled down at him, a smile that only Dorian could see when they where alone.  
  
“Yes, Kadan. Now the real fun begins! She told Leliana we were killing a dragon!" Dorian just rolled his eyes, and groaned.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr here: [Anasilan Writes Stuff and Things](https://caladrinsilverleaf.tumblr.com/) \- I'd love to chat with you :)
> 
> This is purely self-indulgent and totally headcanon because I can! :D


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